Monday, June 20, 2011

Renouncing Girly Ties.

I'm sick of girly things.

I’ve always loved and was slightly jealous of girls who have enough self esteem to wear bright pinks and lacey crap. Also, taking time to do makeup? Or taking time to actually match clothes? Shoes with heels? Girls are just amazing.

I started being more girly after I chopped off all my hair and started to be mistaken for a boy. It never really did feel right, as explained below in my not-really-a-graph-but-this-website-wont-let-me-import-my-fancy-pants-graph-so-this-will-have-to-do .

Age ---- Girlyness (or lack there of)

5. Thought I was a boy

10. Accepting I was a girl, but perfectly capable of beating any boy (or girl) in the mile

15. Told I was pretty, but "probably didn’t realize it” and should, therefore, wear clothes that hadn't, at one point in time, belonged to Eric.

17. Decided it was time to add femininity to my appearance to counteract the short hair

19. Whatever.


I’m just finished with a girly façade. To me, it seems like just too much effort, plus I can’t wear heels without being super paranoid that I’m going to break my ankles and therefore not be able to run. Also, my hair is a longer (yet still ‘lesbian length’), so at least people are clear on my gender.

What this means:
A. No more creepy dolls in my room.

B. I will probably be taken for a lesbian more often/will continue to date closet gays.

C. Everyone else I hang out with will babeify x 9264, making me a necessary accessory for improv nights.

D. I can fill science major stereotypes

Not a long list, seeing as I was only attracted to the idea of girlyness for about a year and wasn't nearly as girly as I could have been.


Other boring news updates:

1. Something got hold of Pippin and now he’s got a nasty scratch running from his eye to his nose.
2. They finished re-doing a sidewalk on my normal running route. I no longer need to run around a group of construction workers. And, the new sidewalk is pretty grand.
3. Finished reading The Lovely Bones. Working in a store that sells dollhouses, I must say that Sebold made an excellent choice of a creepy hobby for her killer.
4. Also finished Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, which may or may not have something to do with my new-found dislike for girly things.

Okay, so I wrote that last week, than was like, ‘nahh im not going to post this for more than a two minute window’ in which Christine somehow found it. And it’s a good thing I didn’t, cause there’s something I want to add.

After I wrote this, I painted my toe nails.

So, I guess I lied?
But if anyone wants a few pairs of heels, let me know.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Oh hai weekend.

Basically just had the best week of my life.

How is that possible, you might ask, when I had previously been through monumental times such as seeing Patrick Wolf, being born, or eating bagels for breakfast (and in that order too)?

First I went camping with Christine and Eric, probably the two greatest people on the planet. We went to the Shenandoah Mountains and hiked Old Rag, where we took eight hours to go up the scramble and down the boring-ish walk past some shelters which, believe it or not, Old Rag himself lives. Although, by now, there are so many generations of Old Rag, and some of them are still Young Rag and Baby Rag, that it isn’t that impressive. We also met this pot-smoking hipster who told me that I wasn’t posing as Jesus correctly, and then began to discuss with his friend how Pho noodles are the epitome of Chinese food. (they’re Vietnamese).

We then sketchily gathered some firewood from Big Meadows, and go attacked by an owl. Falling asleep was easy after the 8.59 miles we had hiked, squeezed, and managed to pull ourselves through, although breakfast of instant coffee (yuck) and instant oatmeal (yuck) was not the best to wake up to. The night before we had a few fake hot dogs and some marshmallows before the campfire went out, because it was so incredibly windy. Even after all our effort to collect firewood in a some-what illegal fashion we still had to use Christine’s little camping stove, which requires ridiculous amounts of pumping gas and holding matches dangerously close to said gas. I even had to rip out pages of Tom Sawyer to get our fire going, but I’m sure Mark Twain would have been proud of that.

Then, after being completely worn out, we went to Dinosaur land. Dinosaur land is pretty much a bunch of old papier-mâché statues of dinosaurs, some more hilarious than others, which are joined by King Kong, a giant Praying Mantis, and a Squid. Although we spent only about 30 minutes in the actual park, I say it was well worth the $5 admission ticket plus gas money. Also, I learned some important historical lessons, such as, "black widow spider is so named because it kills its mate after mating. How foolish can the female get?" Thanks guide book.

THEN I got to go see THE ROOM live action play! THE FIRST ONE… EVER. As director, producer, and lead actor Tommy Wiseau himself said, June 10th will forever be a day written in history books. Then an interview with him and Greg Sestero where I learned that it is always better to give 20% rather than 100%. Oh, and pictures with both of them, handshakes, signatures, and a comment to “enjoy our life.”

Thanks to you Tommy, I will.