When I Grow Up...

Several Times a day, I announce I want to be something when I grow up.
And now I realize: I’m going to be “grown up” in about three and a half years. And I’m (hopefully) going to have a job. And more likely than not, it’s not going to be one of the professions I dream about.


A List of Julie’s Top Dream Professions:

1. A Cat.
Pretty self explanatory why I gave up this dream…

2. Writer.
Ever since I knew what a writer was, I’ve wanted to be a writer. And I’ve written my fair share of “stories”, from the super awesome tale of the “Power Cats” who use their super ninja skillz to defeat mailmen, dogs, and aliens in order to save a lost kitten; to the Lion King Prequel, featuring Mufasa and Scar and the *true* ruler, the daughter, who couldn’t take the crown cause she was the “wrong gender” (this was during a childhood feminist stage); to the story of a class of secretive students who all have their oddities and differences (such as being part robot or a super genius), to save the school from an evil vampire; to the love story of Penny and Fletch; to the story of a girl who watches her unknown grandma die as she tells the story of her life Big-Fish style, including the witch who lives alone on the hill and the highway monster who collects all lost possessions.

3. Artist.
Shortly after my writer my brief intermission of wanting to be a writer I decided I wanted to be a Manga artist. I spent hours in my room, listening to bad techno music and drawing my comic. It was pretty fabulous; I’m not going to lie. Unfortunately, high school knocked away that part of me when I became more interested in having friends then sitting in my room having single-person dance parties and drawing soft-porn.

4. Doll house Architect
When I was in junior year, I became re-obsessed with dollhouses. No thanks to my boss, who put a shadow box in front of me and told me to “do with it as I like..” and showed me how to wallpaper and some decorating tips. Well, thanks a lot Lynne, cause then I had to redo my entire dollhouse, and I went crazy. My dollhouse, at home, is a nine room, Victorian farmhouse jr. from Real Good Toys, with an addition on the side. And it is PIMPED OUT. As “pimped out” as a country-French decorated dollhouse could be, complete with chair rails and matching rugs….
Well, last year I made a dollhouse from scrap lumber for an art project. And now I’m obsessed. I look through my architecture books, and I’m like… dang, that would a be sweet little house for a Barrower.
The problem with this occupation is, of course, not being able to sell any dollhouses, because only collectors would pay big bucks for intricate dollhouses with small pieces that would snap under a child’s fingertips. But everyone who I’ve talked to about this seems very supportive, which is ridiculous because they would never buy a dollhouse, no matter how cheap it was.

5. Goat Farmer.
I want to be a goat farmer in either Switzerland or New Zealand. New Zealand is more ideal, because then I can accomplish my other dream of being a hobbit. But seriously, I want to live in a hobbit-hole in the ground, an architectural style I learned, known as a “pit house,” where I will rest with my huge kitchen and pet chickens. And of course, cats. Fifty of them.
Oh, and they won’t be just any goats. Angora Goats. Big, fluffy goats, which I will shear to get mohair, which I will then sell to Steiff to make fine toys….

6. Editor.
More recently, I’ve being toying with the idea of being an editor. Just because I love to yell at people for making grammatical errors and not capitalizing letters (I’m a huge hypocrite, I know). And people tell me off for being “too harsh” when I edit their papers, but come on folks: you don’t use “I” in a college paper, or in any professional paper. And did I mention the best part of this job? No one knows how to write anymore, which means I can get a job nearly anywhere! Still, it would be a desk job and everyone would think I’m a witch because I tear apart their work and shoot flames out of my eyes, but oh well. I’ll be content, as long as I can come home to my fifty cats.