The Age of the Washcloth is ending. Arwen's time is ending. Let her go.

Long live the loofah.

Can you even think of one bad thing about a loofah? (Well, I can, and that’s piercings, it’s a pain the butt to get it stuck on them), but other than that, loofahs are pretty much the greatest things ever invented.





Microsoft Word doesn’t realize loofah as a word yet. Their suggestions are “loafers, locals and hookahs.” Get with it Word, this is the best thing EVER. It demands to be on hot/not lists EVERY YEAR. Right next to The Beatles and Chocolate.

Hot/Not lists are seriously one of the best things about the New Year. Not because I like to follow fashion (this is my idea of fashion), but because I like to see who immediately changes themselves to fit in with the criteria set by some no-one with zero business telling everyone whether or not they can wear a certain style of pants. (I would be like Miranda if this was my job.)

Most of those lists are invented so that people will shop for new clothes and therefore keep clothing in business. That’s why fat and skinny heels change popularity every year. That's right, person who made this list, we're onto you and your selling-out-to-the-man-ness.

This is part of the HOT section from a list created by Kink.fm.

Fashion and Beauty
-- Patriotism (Americana Western and military style)
-- Eco-chic
-- Cropped jeans
-- '70s-inspired looks (and vintage YSL)
-- Color and prints
-- Embellished stockings
-- Kitten heels
-- Infinity scarves
-- The ballerina look (à la Black Swan)
-- Messenger bags (more free hands to hold things)
-- Red shoes (could be Converse, pumps, flats; shows a little edginess)
-- Indie Carine Roitfeld
-- Jewel tones
-- Dressing up
-- Pixie haircuts
-- Brazilian hair-straightening
-- Redheads
-- Clean-shaven

General Culture
-- Muppets (Jason Segel's upcoming movie)
-- Pies (the new cupcakes)
-- Road trips (a new way to avoid a patdown)
-- Vacations with purpose
-- Intimate wedding ceremonies
-- Sending handwritten letters/postcards
-- Vespas/scooters (saving the environment one bike at a time)
-- A cappella groups (thanks, "Glee"!)
-- Outdoor markets
-- Technology-free resorts and vacations
-- Random acts of kindness
-- Junk-food-free homes
-- Noodle bars
-- Westerns
-- Fast-food fries with sea salt
-- Anti-energy drinks
-- "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills"
-- About.me
-- Hipster flea markets
-- Renting
-- Home and rooftop gardens
-- Honeysuckle (Pantone predicted this as the color for 2011)
-- Mom-and-pop shops
-- Baking
-- Bowling
-- Pepsi
-- Bourbon
-- Reading the classics


And the NOT section:
-- Silly Bandz
-- Skinny jeans
-- The raw-food-diet wardrobe (we're looking at you, Lady Gaga)
-- Sky-high platforms
-- Designer Uggs (studded, sequined or metallic, these boots are out)
-- Harem pants
-- Suspenders (out with the King; Larry, that is)
-- Small, impractical clutches
-- Lingerie as outerwear
-- Clogs
-- '60s hippie fashion (but '60s ladylike is in)
-- Somber palette of black and grey
-- Shag haircuts

General Culture
-- Cupcakes
-- Cheap beer
-- Vuvuzelas (still have that annoying ringing in your ear?)
-- Facebook/Twitter updates of what you ate for lunch
-- The toddler who smokes 40 cigarettes a day
-- Bedbugs
-- Celebrity stalkers
-- Buying
-- Tuna
-- Blue
-- Brunettes
-- Beards
-- Karaoke
-- Coke
-- Vodka
-- Reading the tabloids
-- Spray tans


Yeah, that's right. Bedbugs are SO last year. As are giving your toddler ciggs... Darn.

Well, I'm not going to give up my Miley Cyrus Jeggings that quickly, my dear KINK.fm hot/not list. You'll have to try harder than that!

Now, I'm off to dye my hair red and drink some Pepsi. Tootles.

*Oh, and if you are willing to play SPOT IT with me using the title of this blog post, please tell me which MOVIE the quote is from (substituting Elves with Loofahs), Who said it, and to Whom it was said. Good Luck!*