This actually happened to me. I know, its ridiculous.

Yesterday started pretty much like any other day, except it was unreasonably warm for November.

'I’ll go running', I thought, and so I left my dorm around 3:00 pm, clad in sweatshirt and shorts, nike + and recently charged Ipod.

The first two miles were fairly unremarkable. I felt good about being able to run sub 8-minute miles again. After my marathon, my legs have been reluctant to behave normally and run distances longer than five miles. Well, yesterday I was feeling pretty confident.

I was running along the path by the Rappahannock, my absolutely favorite spot to run. In the spring, the trail is covered in bluebells, in the summer it’s lush and green, in the fall it’s like running through a painting. Right now it’s kind of meh, and it’s been raining a lot recently, so parts are flooded. However, yesterday I was determined to get back my mile splits, so I plowed right through.

A biker spooked me, so I decided to run without headphones. Good thing too, because as I rounded a corner, I looked over…

And there was a man running down the hill … completely naked.

Okay, not completely naked. He was wearing a blue baseball hat.

He might have been wearing shoes, but trust me, I had no desire to look below the waist.

It raises the question- What the hell?!?!?

I mean, I know I said it was unreasonably warm, but not that warm, dude.

I decided to turn the other way and hurry back, when he comes my way... only now he’s wearing blue basketball shorts. Still in his stupid blue hat, but shirtless, he comes jogging up like it’s no big deal. Terrified, I ran to the side and waited for him to pass, but as soon as he did, he said, “I’m about to turn around, let me run in front of you.”

Well, anything to keep him away from me, I waved him on. I further let myself be distanced from him and let him run off ahead before continuing.

Then I went to the police.

When I told the campus officer, she cracked up. They sent a squad car to pick me up, and I got to go in my first (and hopefully last) police car ride! When I told the Fredericksburg officer, she tried to keep a straight face, but when she asked me, “Was he standing? Hiding?” and I said he was running, like, actually just going out for a jog down the hill, she lost it.

But think about it: he must have stashed his shorts nearby, because it didn’t take that long for him to put them on and then pass me… So, did he just really want to run down the hill naked? Like… who does that? In the middle of the day, too?? And it’s not like I was the only person on the path! Like, there is no way that he could have thought he wouldn’t be seen running down a gravel path in the middle of a populated park.

He looked like a normal guy too. He was probably in his late 40s, early 50s, so I highly doubt this was a stupid dare or something. He was clean shaven (cough, everywhere, cough), looked healthy and lean. He wasn’t rude to me, in fact when he spoke to me he was polite enough. He didn’t make any sexual motions or make any noises… he just seemed to want to enjoy nature. A bit too much.

This apparently isn’t the first time there has been a naked guy on the path. Erin’s coach had also seen a naked guy on the path, who claimed he had been going to the bathroom. Also, if you Google search Police reports of Fredericksburg and Stafford, there’s quite a few incidents of naked men walking about. And I am not recommending you do an image search.

This is pulled from the police report. Red arrows show incidents of Indecent Exposure since 2009

Anyway, I now have all the right to respect my Mom’s persistence to the fact that I need a running partner, or at least to run with my phone. Guess what guys- Mom’s have reason for their worrying. Who knows when a naked man is going to decide to go for a jog? One thing’s for sure- that path will never hold the same sense of beauty.

Also, I defiantly ran sub-8 minute miles.

Nerd Hymn

For my creative writing class, my teacher is having us write fixed form poems. Here is mine.


Nerd Hymn

I wish there was a way to Mars
that’s didn’t cost so much.
I would fly away, go so far
And never get back in touch.

Once water flowed on Mar’s skin
And now it runs all dry
With an atmosphere 150 times more thin
us humans could not survive.

I’m not saying I’m unscientific
but I wish that I could find
That there’s a life kind, albeit horrific,
with a highly master mind.

One day we’ll bomb the Martians land
to create an atmosphere,
but until then I’m stuck with man
and hating life while I’m here.



Yes, I am twenty years old.

Easy As Pie… Or why I should never be allowed in the kitchen.

Well, tomorrow is my boyfriend’s birthday. Yes, this is the first time I’ve mentioned him, and yes, I am proud of that fact. Anyway, on Friday, I excitedly mentioned that I would try and make him some special desert.

Only then did I filled my boyfriend in on the fact that I can’t bake.

“But Julie, you’re a girl”
Yeah? Have you read my blog before?!?!? No? Then read this, jerkface. (he didn’t actually say that, he said he had eaten my Moms apple crisp that I told him was mine and he said he liked it. That, too, is a joke. I only did that once. Then, I actually DID make an apple crisp all by myself, and he liked that one too.)

What happens when I try to bake: I get EXTREME A.D.D. Like, I have absolutely zero concentration issues anywhere but the kitchen. And it’s not even a problem when I’m cooking, like, food, and by this I mean that I CAN cook (hellloo ladies), but give me a recipe for brownies or cake and I will guarantee find one way to mess it up.

So, I offered to make him a pie. I mean, pies are fairly easy. I made six pies in two days for the Fourth of July last summer, and had almost no issues with those (or not so anyone will tell you… because they were all poisoned TO DEATH).

I think that pie, especially cherry pie, is one of those pies for the true noviece. All you need to do is make the pie crust, and fill it from the can. Then, maybe add some lattice. Poof, pie-tastic. That was the worse pun I have EVER made.

So, I made a cherry pie. Well, heres a picture of how THAT turned out.

umm, so i realize that the picture doesn't show a lot of the pie. That's because i tilted it so my webcam could get a picture, and then things started to slide out... not my brightest moment. On the plus side, I now how cherry all over my sweatshirt which gives me an excuse to wash it. Or not, and have a snack during class.

Heres what i used for my pie:

Apparently, not only can I bake, i should also take up a career as a photographer. I know.
Please note the three cans of cherries.

And how one of them aren’t even pie cherries. I mean, their all cherries, so what’s the difference going to be when it comes out of the oven? See, it's reasoning like this that should send up red flags.

BELIEVE ME YET MIKE? NO? WELL, KEEP READING BIRTHDAY BOY.

So, pie crust.

Granted, pie crust is a tricky for everyone. Okay, maybe not Bree Vandicamp or Martha Stewart, but, whatever. ITS HARD, OKAY?

So, it’s a delicate balance between adding too much water and too little water. One will make your crust crumble. One will make it stick and rip on everything. Don’t ask me what’s the perfect amount of water, because my pie crusts always find a way to be both crumbly AND ridiculously tear-y.

So, this time, I made a huge ball of slightly-watery crust, and then I threw it in the air until it calmed itself down. Then, it got rolled, kinda, and then it went into the pan to be spread with abuse. Like, punches, and pinches, and normal red-flag society stuff. Not pretty.

Well, after crust had been laid, pie fillings added, it was popped in the oven. For half the time that it said on the can, because the can didn’t account for the fact that I would spill some filling all over the crust/outside and lick it off, so it only really cooked for about twenty five minutes.

Ahem. Here it is:

and here's his slightly less-deformed cousin, who was made so that Mom wouldn't find out that I used her cooking materials for Mike, i mean, HI MOM HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS NOT UGLY PIE I MADE JUST FOR YOU!!

So, Happy Birthday?
Maybe next year I'll just buy one at Giant and pretend I made it. "I ever made fake price stickers and everything, heh heh."

Just kidding. Really, Happy Birthday Bro.

Proof my lab partners don't give a damn about anything.

I wrote this introduction, because the kid who was supposed to write the introduction DIDN'T, and then I emailed it out to my group.
And got no response.


"Ever wonder what happens if you sit a bath that’s too hot? Neither have I, but for the sake of this experiment, pretend with me. A bath, quite frankly, would not be hot enough, so let’s image that it’s a cold, snowy night and your sitting in the backyard in a bikini or whatever it is you wear, you could be naked, I don’t really care, the point is, your warm, because you’re rich and can afford a fancy hot tub. And you want to be warmer, because nothing is ever good enough for you, because youre a princess too (I mean, why not, we are imagining here.) Well, your servant tells you he cant afford to turn up the heat because it's dangerous, and your like, WHATEVER SERVANT and you do it anyway. Then you die. Why?

Your death is due to denaturation of your enzymes. Denaturation a permanently changing the 3D shape of your enzymes, which are vital to your life. Once your enzymes denature, they cannot be put back together. Think of a cooked egg. The protein of the egg becomes changed when you cook it, and if you leave it on a plate, it doesn’t change back. That would be creepy. "


I think i might just leave it in there and turn it in like this. I mean, she said to catch our attention, and you have to admit, its catchy.

"...If I take one more step, it will the farthest I have ever run."

"Oh, Sam."

Sunday was the day I was waiting for.... my entire life. It was unbelievably amazing. Like, if I was given the opportunity to run a marathon every month for the rest of my life and not have to go to school/get a job, I would totally hit that opportunity up.

The best part of the Marathon was having all my friends close by.
Having Christine there made the event infinity times better. Then, my best friends from Mary Wash came and cheered.

Stella was there too!! She was doin' some quality studying at the time this gross picture of me was taken.

Also, Christine's mom and aunt were there to cheer and make a big fuss over us at the finish. My mom came too, but I never saw her on my run, just at the end.

I didn't think that i would like a large group of people (42000 of them), but It actually made it really entertaining and worthwhile. There were SO MANY FANS. SO MANY POSTERS. SO MUCH SAS.

The best posters were:
"A day may come when you can not run anymore... but it is NOT THIS DAY."
and

which is from HERE in case you aren't sold on the awesomeness of it all.

Next marathon (I am defs doing more) I'm going to get one of those super serious "I run for..." that people wear on their backs, and write FOR GONDOR!!!

Other thoughts that ran (hahahahhaaa) through my head:
1. I can't have already run 5 miles?
2. OOOOH, FREE CANDY!!!!
3. Why, hello there sexy Marine man and glass of water
4. This goo tastes like puddin' (it was SO YUMMY. it was a vanilla cliff shot, in case anyone wants to try it)
5. SO MANY BIBLE VERSES.
5 1/2. hahaha, wouldn't it be ironic if Phillippians 4:13 was actually bible verse Phillippians 26:2
6. I LOVE TWIZZLERS!!!
7. Someone smells good. Something is very wrong in this situation.
8. AHH MY FOOT IS METAPHORICALLY ON FIRE.
9. hahahaa, they would hire a banjo player to encourage people to run faster
10. I am so dominating in man points right now, Mike.
11. Maybe I should get a nerdy tattoo too. Maybe the crest of Gondor? ---> this led to an hour long sequence of me re-playing my favorite scenes for LOTR over and over again.
12. Never seen so many men peeing in bushes in my entire life
13. the new MLK statue is pretty fantastic
14 AHH MY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
15. oooo, jolly ranchers!!!
15 1/2. Will run marathons for food.
16. Sorry, I'm thinking about cats again.
17. Yeah, only 7 miles to go!!!!!!!!! BRING IT ON BRIDGE.
18. I want to jump around and bang on drums...
19. NA, NANANANANANANAAA, KATAMARI DAMACY
20. I refuse to let a penguin beat me.
21. "It's nice to beet you!!" "Thats a raddish!!!!"
21. WHO GAVE THIS COLLEGE KID PERMISSION TO HIDE AMONG THE WATER GIVERS AND HAND ME BEER??
22. eating pretzals = worst idea for a food to hand out.
23. Wait. If this is only 26.2 miles, and I'm on mile 25, why can't I see the finish?
24. WAIT. THIS IS A HILL.
24 1/2. DOMINATE ALL THE HILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
25. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHcatsHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

So yeah, that was it in a nutshell. I hope you noticed the increasing amount of capitalization and exclamation points. also, theres a hidden word in number 25. Its not very hidden.

I realized I never said my stats, so here goes:
4 HOURS, 5 MINUTES, 52 SECONDS.

guess whose faster than P. Diddle?? AND Oprah.


I pass the line at 4:26 if you want to watch my not-so-epic finish. I'm on the far side by the Marines and the clock. It says the "official" time at exactly 4 hours and 14 minutes, which is when the gun went off, but that's not accurate because there were so many people that I didn't actually cross the start line for eightish minutes haahahaha.I'm behind some guy wearing a bright blue shirt who lifts up his hands victoriously, in case you don't enjoy playing Where's Waldo.

You can see my photos by clicking HERE and searching for Julia Randall. They're pretty hilarious.

Also, I got a winter job at Build A Bear workshop! Life is so great!!