'I’ll go running', I thought, and so I left my dorm around 3:00 pm, clad in sweatshirt and shorts, nike + and recently charged Ipod.
The first two miles were fairly unremarkable. I felt good about being able to run sub 8-minute miles again. After my marathon, my legs have been reluctant to behave normally and run distances longer than five miles. Well, yesterday I was feeling pretty confident.
I was running along the path by the Rappahannock, my absolutely favorite spot to run. In the spring, the trail is covered in bluebells, in the summer it’s lush and green, in the fall it’s like running through a painting. Right now it’s kind of meh, and it’s been raining a lot recently, so parts are flooded. However, yesterday I was determined to get back my mile splits, so I plowed right through.
A biker spooked me, so I decided to run without headphones. Good thing too, because as I rounded a corner, I looked over…
And there was a man running down the hill … completely naked.
Okay, not completely naked. He was wearing a blue baseball hat.
He might have been wearing shoes, but trust me, I had no desire to look below the waist.
It raises the question- What the hell?!?!?
I mean, I know I said it was unreasonably warm, but not that warm, dude.
I decided to turn the other way and hurry back, when he comes my way... only now he’s wearing blue basketball shorts. Still in his stupid blue hat, but shirtless, he comes jogging up like it’s no big deal. Terrified, I ran to the side and waited for him to pass, but as soon as he did, he said, “I’m about to turn around, let me run in front of you.”
Well, anything to keep him away from me, I waved him on. I further let myself be distanced from him and let him run off ahead before continuing.
Then I went to the police.
When I told the campus officer, she cracked up. They sent a squad car to pick me up, and I got to go in my first (and hopefully last) police car ride! When I told the Fredericksburg officer, she tried to keep a straight face, but when she asked me, “Was he standing? Hiding?” and I said he was running, like, actually just going out for a jog down the hill, she lost it.
But think about it: he must have stashed his shorts nearby, because it didn’t take that long for him to put them on and then pass me… So, did he just really want to run down the hill naked? Like… who does that? In the middle of the day, too?? And it’s not like I was the only person on the path! Like, there is no way that he could have thought he wouldn’t be seen running down a gravel path in the middle of a populated park.
He looked like a normal guy too. He was probably in his late 40s, early 50s, so I highly doubt this was a stupid dare or something. He was clean shaven (cough, everywhere, cough), looked healthy and lean. He wasn’t rude to me, in fact when he spoke to me he was polite enough. He didn’t make any sexual motions or make any noises… he just seemed to want to enjoy nature. A bit too much.
This apparently isn’t the first time there has been a naked guy on the path. Erin’s coach had also seen a naked guy on the path, who claimed he had been going to the bathroom. Also, if you Google search Police reports of Fredericksburg and Stafford, there’s quite a few incidents of naked men walking about. And I am not recommending you do an image search.
This is pulled from the police report. Red arrows show incidents of Indecent Exposure since 2009
Anyway, I now have all the right to respect my Mom’s persistence to the fact that I need a running partner, or at least to run with my phone. Guess what guys- Mom’s have reason for their worrying. Who knows when a naked man is going to decide to go for a jog? One thing’s for sure- that path will never hold the same sense of beauty.
Also, I defiantly ran sub-8 minute miles.
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