For my creative writing class, my teacher is having us write fixed form poems. Here is mine.
Nerd Hymn
I wish there was a way to Mars
that’s didn’t cost so much.
I would fly away, go so far
And never get back in touch.
Once water flowed on Mar’s skin
And now it runs all dry
With an atmosphere 150 times more thin
us humans could not survive.
I’m not saying I’m unscientific
but I wish that I could find
That there’s a life kind, albeit horrific,
with a highly master mind.
One day we’ll bomb the Martians land
to create an atmosphere,
but until then I’m stuck with man
and hating life while I’m here.
Yes, I am twenty years old.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Easy As Pie… Or why I should never be allowed in the kitchen.
Well, tomorrow is my boyfriend’s birthday. Yes, this is the first time I’ve mentioned him, and yes, I am proud of that fact. Anyway, on Friday, I excitedly mentioned that I would try and make him some special desert.
Only then did I filled my boyfriend in on the fact that I can’t bake.
“But Julie, you’re a girl”
Yeah? Have you read my blog before?!?!? No? Then read this, jerkface. (he didn’t actually say that, he said he had eaten my Moms apple crisp that I told him was mine and he said he liked it. That, too, is a joke. I only did that once. Then, I actually DID make an apple crisp all by myself, and he liked that one too.)
What happens when I try to bake: I get EXTREME A.D.D. Like, I have absolutely zero concentration issues anywhere but the kitchen. And it’s not even a problem when I’m cooking, like, food, and by this I mean that I CAN cook (hellloo ladies), but give me a recipe for brownies or cake and I will guarantee find one way to mess it up.
So, I offered to make him a pie. I mean, pies are fairly easy. I made six pies in two days for the Fourth of July last summer, and had almost no issues with those (or not so anyone will tell you… because they were all poisoned TO DEATH).
I think that pie, especially cherry pie, is one of those pies for the true noviece. All you need to do is make the pie crust, and fill it from the can. Then, maybe add some lattice. Poof, pie-tastic. That was the worse pun I have EVER made.
So, I made a cherry pie. Well, heres a picture of how THAT turned out.
umm, so i realize that the picture doesn't show a lot of the pie. That's because i tilted it so my webcam could get a picture, and then things started to slide out... not my brightest moment. On the plus side, I now how cherry all over my sweatshirt which gives me an excuse to wash it. Or not, and have a snack during class.
Heres what i used for my pie:
Apparently, not only can I bake, i should also take up a career as a photographer. I know.
Please note the three cans of cherries.
And how one of them aren’t even pie cherries. I mean, their all cherries, so what’s the difference going to be when it comes out of the oven? See, it's reasoning like this that should send up red flags.
BELIEVE ME YET MIKE? NO? WELL, KEEP READING BIRTHDAY BOY.
So, pie crust.
Granted, pie crust is a tricky for everyone. Okay, maybe not Bree Vandicamp or Martha Stewart, but, whatever. ITS HARD, OKAY?
So, it’s a delicate balance between adding too much water and too little water. One will make your crust crumble. One will make it stick and rip on everything. Don’t ask me what’s the perfect amount of water, because my pie crusts always find a way to be both crumbly AND ridiculously tear-y.
So, this time, I made a huge ball of slightly-watery crust, and then I threw it in the air until it calmed itself down. Then, it got rolled, kinda, and then it went into the pan to be spread with abuse. Like, punches, and pinches, and normal red-flag society stuff. Not pretty.
Well, after crust had been laid, pie fillings added, it was popped in the oven. For half the time that it said on the can, because the can didn’t account for the fact that I would spill some filling all over the crust/outside and lick it off, so it only really cooked for about twenty five minutes.
Ahem. Here it is:
and here's his slightly less-deformed cousin, who was made so that Mom wouldn't find out that I used her cooking materials for Mike, i mean, HI MOM HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS NOT UGLY PIE I MADE JUST FOR YOU!!
So, Happy Birthday?
Maybe next year I'll just buy one at Giant and pretend I made it. "I ever made fake price stickers and everything, heh heh."
Just kidding. Really, Happy Birthday Bro.
Only then did I filled my boyfriend in on the fact that I can’t bake.
“But Julie, you’re a girl”
Yeah? Have you read my blog before?!?!? No? Then read this, jerkface. (he didn’t actually say that, he said he had eaten my Moms apple crisp that I told him was mine and he said he liked it. That, too, is a joke. I only did that once. Then, I actually DID make an apple crisp all by myself, and he liked that one too.)
What happens when I try to bake: I get EXTREME A.D.D. Like, I have absolutely zero concentration issues anywhere but the kitchen. And it’s not even a problem when I’m cooking, like, food, and by this I mean that I CAN cook (hellloo ladies), but give me a recipe for brownies or cake and I will guarantee find one way to mess it up.
So, I offered to make him a pie. I mean, pies are fairly easy. I made six pies in two days for the Fourth of July last summer, and had almost no issues with those (or not so anyone will tell you… because they were all poisoned TO DEATH).
I think that pie, especially cherry pie, is one of those pies for the true noviece. All you need to do is make the pie crust, and fill it from the can. Then, maybe add some lattice. Poof, pie-tastic. That was the worse pun I have EVER made.
So, I made a cherry pie. Well, heres a picture of how THAT turned out.
umm, so i realize that the picture doesn't show a lot of the pie. That's because i tilted it so my webcam could get a picture, and then things started to slide out... not my brightest moment. On the plus side, I now how cherry all over my sweatshirt which gives me an excuse to wash it. Or not, and have a snack during class.
Heres what i used for my pie:
Apparently, not only can I bake, i should also take up a career as a photographer. I know.
Please note the three cans of cherries.
And how one of them aren’t even pie cherries. I mean, their all cherries, so what’s the difference going to be when it comes out of the oven? See, it's reasoning like this that should send up red flags.
BELIEVE ME YET MIKE? NO? WELL, KEEP READING BIRTHDAY BOY.
So, pie crust.
Granted, pie crust is a tricky for everyone. Okay, maybe not Bree Vandicamp or Martha Stewart, but, whatever. ITS HARD, OKAY?
So, it’s a delicate balance between adding too much water and too little water. One will make your crust crumble. One will make it stick and rip on everything. Don’t ask me what’s the perfect amount of water, because my pie crusts always find a way to be both crumbly AND ridiculously tear-y.
So, this time, I made a huge ball of slightly-watery crust, and then I threw it in the air until it calmed itself down. Then, it got rolled, kinda, and then it went into the pan to be spread with abuse. Like, punches, and pinches, and normal red-flag society stuff. Not pretty.
Well, after crust had been laid, pie fillings added, it was popped in the oven. For half the time that it said on the can, because the can didn’t account for the fact that I would spill some filling all over the crust/outside and lick it off, so it only really cooked for about twenty five minutes.
Ahem. Here it is:
and here's his slightly less-deformed cousin, who was made so that Mom wouldn't find out that I used her cooking materials for Mike, i mean, HI MOM HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS NOT UGLY PIE I MADE JUST FOR YOU!!
So, Happy Birthday?
Maybe next year I'll just buy one at Giant and pretend I made it. "I ever made fake price stickers and everything, heh heh."
Just kidding. Really, Happy Birthday Bro.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Proof my lab partners don't give a damn about anything.
I wrote this introduction, because the kid who was supposed to write the introduction DIDN'T, and then I emailed it out to my group.
And got no response.
"Ever wonder what happens if you sit a bath that’s too hot? Neither have I, but for the sake of this experiment, pretend with me. A bath, quite frankly, would not be hot enough, so let’s image that it’s a cold, snowy night and your sitting in the backyard in a bikini or whatever it is you wear, you could be naked, I don’t really care, the point is, your warm, because you’re rich and can afford a fancy hot tub. And you want to be warmer, because nothing is ever good enough for you, because youre a princess too (I mean, why not, we are imagining here.) Well, your servant tells you he cant afford to turn up the heat because it's dangerous, and your like, WHATEVER SERVANT and you do it anyway. Then you die. Why?
Your death is due to denaturation of your enzymes. Denaturation a permanently changing the 3D shape of your enzymes, which are vital to your life. Once your enzymes denature, they cannot be put back together. Think of a cooked egg. The protein of the egg becomes changed when you cook it, and if you leave it on a plate, it doesn’t change back. That would be creepy. "
I think i might just leave it in there and turn it in like this. I mean, she said to catch our attention, and you have to admit, its catchy.
And got no response.
"Ever wonder what happens if you sit a bath that’s too hot? Neither have I, but for the sake of this experiment, pretend with me. A bath, quite frankly, would not be hot enough, so let’s image that it’s a cold, snowy night and your sitting in the backyard in a bikini or whatever it is you wear, you could be naked, I don’t really care, the point is, your warm, because you’re rich and can afford a fancy hot tub. And you want to be warmer, because nothing is ever good enough for you, because youre a princess too (I mean, why not, we are imagining here.) Well, your servant tells you he cant afford to turn up the heat because it's dangerous, and your like, WHATEVER SERVANT and you do it anyway. Then you die. Why?
Your death is due to denaturation of your enzymes. Denaturation a permanently changing the 3D shape of your enzymes, which are vital to your life. Once your enzymes denature, they cannot be put back together. Think of a cooked egg. The protein of the egg becomes changed when you cook it, and if you leave it on a plate, it doesn’t change back. That would be creepy. "
I think i might just leave it in there and turn it in like this. I mean, she said to catch our attention, and you have to admit, its catchy.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
"...If I take one more step, it will the farthest I have ever run."
"Oh, Sam."
Sunday was the day I was waiting for.... my entire life. It was unbelievably amazing. Like, if I was given the opportunity to run a marathon every month for the rest of my life and not have to go to school/get a job, I would totally hit that opportunity up.
The best part of the Marathon was having all my friends close by.
Having Christine there made the event infinity times better. Then, my best friends from Mary Wash came and cheered.
Stella was there too!! She was doin' some quality studying at the time this gross picture of me was taken.
Also, Christine's mom and aunt were there to cheer and make a big fuss over us at the finish. My mom came too, but I never saw her on my run, just at the end.
I didn't think that i would like a large group of people (42000 of them), but It actually made it really entertaining and worthwhile. There were SO MANY FANS. SO MANY POSTERS. SO MUCH SAS.
The best posters were:
"A day may come when you can not run anymore... but it is NOT THIS DAY."
and
which is from HERE in case you aren't sold on the awesomeness of it all.
Next marathon (I am defs doing more) I'm going to get one of those super serious "I run for..." that people wear on their backs, and write FOR GONDOR!!!
Other thoughts that ran (hahahahhaaa) through my head:
1. I can't have already run 5 miles?
2. OOOOH, FREE CANDY!!!!
3. Why, hello there sexy Marine man and glass of water
4. This goo tastes like puddin' (it was SO YUMMY. it was a vanilla cliff shot, in case anyone wants to try it)
5. SO MANY BIBLE VERSES.
5 1/2. hahaha, wouldn't it be ironic if Phillippians 4:13 was actually bible verse Phillippians 26:2
6. I LOVE TWIZZLERS!!!
7. Someone smells good. Something is very wrong in this situation.
8. AHH MY FOOT IS METAPHORICALLY ON FIRE.
9. hahahaa, they would hire a banjo player to encourage people to run faster
10. I am so dominating in man points right now, Mike.
11. Maybe I should get a nerdy tattoo too. Maybe the crest of Gondor? ---> this led to an hour long sequence of me re-playing my favorite scenes for LOTR over and over again.
12. Never seen so many men peeing in bushes in my entire life
13. the new MLK statue is pretty fantastic
14 AHH MY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
15. oooo, jolly ranchers!!!
15 1/2. Will run marathons for food.
16. Sorry, I'm thinking about cats again.
17. Yeah, only 7 miles to go!!!!!!!!! BRING IT ON BRIDGE.
18. I want to jump around and bang on drums...
19. NA, NANANANANANANAAA, KATAMARI DAMACY
20. I refuse to let a penguin beat me.
21. "It's nice to beet you!!" "Thats a raddish!!!!"
21. WHO GAVE THIS COLLEGE KID PERMISSION TO HIDE AMONG THE WATER GIVERS AND HAND ME BEER??
22. eating pretzals = worst idea for a food to hand out.
23. Wait. If this is only 26.2 miles, and I'm on mile 25, why can't I see the finish?
24. WAIT. THIS IS A HILL.
24 1/2. DOMINATE ALL THE HILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
25. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHcatsHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
So yeah, that was it in a nutshell. I hope you noticed the increasing amount of capitalization and exclamation points. also, theres a hidden word in number 25. Its not very hidden.
I realized I never said my stats, so here goes:
4 HOURS, 5 MINUTES, 52 SECONDS.
guess whose faster than P. Diddle?? AND Oprah.
I pass the line at 4:26 if you want to watch my not-so-epic finish. I'm on the far side by the Marines and the clock. It says the "official" time at exactly 4 hours and 14 minutes, which is when the gun went off, but that's not accurate because there were so many people that I didn't actually cross the start line for eightish minutes haahahaha.I'm behind some guy wearing a bright blue shirt who lifts up his hands victoriously, in case you don't enjoy playing Where's Waldo.
You can see my photos by clicking HERE and searching for Julia Randall. They're pretty hilarious.
Also, I got a winter job at Build A Bear workshop! Life is so great!!
Sunday was the day I was waiting for.... my entire life. It was unbelievably amazing. Like, if I was given the opportunity to run a marathon every month for the rest of my life and not have to go to school/get a job, I would totally hit that opportunity up.
The best part of the Marathon was having all my friends close by.
Having Christine there made the event infinity times better. Then, my best friends from Mary Wash came and cheered.
Stella was there too!! She was doin' some quality studying at the time this gross picture of me was taken.
Also, Christine's mom and aunt were there to cheer and make a big fuss over us at the finish. My mom came too, but I never saw her on my run, just at the end.
I didn't think that i would like a large group of people (42000 of them), but It actually made it really entertaining and worthwhile. There were SO MANY FANS. SO MANY POSTERS. SO MUCH SAS.
The best posters were:
"A day may come when you can not run anymore... but it is NOT THIS DAY."
and
Next marathon (I am defs doing more) I'm going to get one of those super serious "I run for..." that people wear on their backs, and write FOR GONDOR!!!
Other thoughts that ran (hahahahhaaa) through my head:
1. I can't have already run 5 miles?
2. OOOOH, FREE CANDY!!!!
3. Why, hello there sexy Marine man and glass of water
4. This goo tastes like puddin' (it was SO YUMMY. it was a vanilla cliff shot, in case anyone wants to try it)
5. SO MANY BIBLE VERSES.
5 1/2. hahaha, wouldn't it be ironic if Phillippians 4:13 was actually bible verse Phillippians 26:2
6. I LOVE TWIZZLERS!!!
7. Someone smells good. Something is very wrong in this situation.
8. AHH MY FOOT IS METAPHORICALLY ON FIRE.
9. hahahaa, they would hire a banjo player to encourage people to run faster
10. I am so dominating in man points right now, Mike.
11. Maybe I should get a nerdy tattoo too. Maybe the crest of Gondor? ---> this led to an hour long sequence of me re-playing my favorite scenes for LOTR over and over again.
12. Never seen so many men peeing in bushes in my entire life
13. the new MLK statue is pretty fantastic
14 AHH MY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
15. oooo, jolly ranchers!!!
15 1/2. Will run marathons for food.
16. Sorry, I'm thinking about cats again.
17. Yeah, only 7 miles to go!!!!!!!!! BRING IT ON BRIDGE.
18. I want to jump around and bang on drums...
19. NA, NANANANANANANAAA, KATAMARI DAMACY
20. I refuse to let a penguin beat me.
21. "It's nice to beet you!!" "Thats a raddish!!!!"
21. WHO GAVE THIS COLLEGE KID PERMISSION TO HIDE AMONG THE WATER GIVERS AND HAND ME BEER??
22. eating pretzals = worst idea for a food to hand out.
23. Wait. If this is only 26.2 miles, and I'm on mile 25, why can't I see the finish?
24. WAIT. THIS IS A HILL.
24 1/2. DOMINATE ALL THE HILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
25. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHcatsHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
So yeah, that was it in a nutshell. I hope you noticed the increasing amount of capitalization and exclamation points. also, theres a hidden word in number 25. Its not very hidden.
I realized I never said my stats, so here goes:
4 HOURS, 5 MINUTES, 52 SECONDS.
guess whose faster than P. Diddle?? AND Oprah.
I pass the line at 4:26 if you want to watch my not-so-epic finish. I'm on the far side by the Marines and the clock. It says the "official" time at exactly 4 hours and 14 minutes, which is when the gun went off, but that's not accurate because there were so many people that I didn't actually cross the start line for eightish minutes haahahaha.I'm behind some guy wearing a bright blue shirt who lifts up his hands victoriously, in case you don't enjoy playing Where's Waldo.
You can see my photos by clicking HERE and searching for Julia Randall. They're pretty hilarious.
Also, I got a winter job at Build A Bear workshop! Life is so great!!
Monday, October 31, 2011
"Julie, you never update your blog.."
Yeah, well, I'm busy!!
That being said, there will a blog post tomorrow (i promise!) about my marathon yesterday. So, if you want to read about running, check back tomorrow and I'll try to make it interesting for your sake.
See everyone tomorrow!
That being said, there will a blog post tomorrow (i promise!) about my marathon yesterday. So, if you want to read about running, check back tomorrow and I'll try to make it interesting for your sake.
See everyone tomorrow!
Monday, September 12, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
Gone forever. (not really. tricked you! myahahaha)
I'm going out with my girls for the week, so if you were planning on calling me up to go bungee jumping or something, I'm sorry, but I'm out of town. Next week, maybe.
Here's some bad comics to get you through your week without Julie:
disclaimer: best when read at 3 a.m. Preferably, also when drunk/tired/high/on a coffee high. Also part of this disclaimer- I can draw much better (like a freakin' Leonardo). I can also draw worse.
Some going-on's from last week:
- NEW PATRICK WOLF!!!! His album, Lupercalia, is like being a seduced by Nessie. Trust me.
-Butt slasher?!? Thank god i never actually turned in my application to work at Forever 21.
- watched ROBOCOP with Will. I want to be reinforced with steel. This is not a new desire, thanks to Will Smith and that one movie with aliens (specific) where i dug my nails into Conrad's leg because I was so scared and left a scar.
- I ran into a post when I was running and got a mark on my shoulder that looks like a hickey. My Dad asked about it; I told him guys are just crazy for my gunz.
- I got some clothes from a store other than Unique?!? It was a rare day.
- My cat went snooping through every box in my room. Such a snoop. Snoop cat, if I may. Hahahahaa
- My aunt and cousin came to visit. We saw Casablanca at Wolftrap. It makes me wish that it WAS jacket weather, just so I could be wooed by some guy in a trench. (trench coat. Just to clarify. I'm not big on Immersion foot disease.
- i got a coffee pot for my desk at college. Going to be a crazy year at college, getting drunk (on coffee) ALL THE TIME. Mix that with staying up all night to watch Gone with the Wind, and you might say I'm out of control.
And, lastly, a joke for you herbology majors.
Fin.
Here's some bad comics to get you through your week without Julie:
disclaimer: best when read at 3 a.m. Preferably, also when drunk/tired/high/on a coffee high. Also part of this disclaimer- I can draw much better (like a freakin' Leonardo). I can also draw worse.
Some going-on's from last week:
- NEW PATRICK WOLF!!!! His album, Lupercalia, is like being a seduced by Nessie. Trust me.
-Butt slasher?!? Thank god i never actually turned in my application to work at Forever 21.
- watched ROBOCOP with Will. I want to be reinforced with steel. This is not a new desire, thanks to Will Smith and that one movie with aliens (specific) where i dug my nails into Conrad's leg because I was so scared and left a scar.
- I ran into a post when I was running and got a mark on my shoulder that looks like a hickey. My Dad asked about it; I told him guys are just crazy for my gunz.
- I got some clothes from a store other than Unique?!? It was a rare day.
- My cat went snooping through every box in my room. Such a snoop. Snoop cat, if I may. Hahahahaa
- My aunt and cousin came to visit. We saw Casablanca at Wolftrap. It makes me wish that it WAS jacket weather, just so I could be wooed by some guy in a trench. (trench coat. Just to clarify. I'm not big on Immersion foot disease.
- i got a coffee pot for my desk at college. Going to be a crazy year at college, getting drunk (on coffee) ALL THE TIME. Mix that with staying up all night to watch Gone with the Wind, and you might say I'm out of control.
And, lastly, a joke for you herbology majors.
Fin.
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