Tuesday, November 29, 2011

This actually happened to me. I know, its ridiculous.

Yesterday started pretty much like any other day, except it was unreasonably warm for November.

'I’ll go running', I thought, and so I left my dorm around 3:00 pm, clad in sweatshirt and shorts, nike + and recently charged Ipod.

The first two miles were fairly unremarkable. I felt good about being able to run sub 8-minute miles again. After my marathon, my legs have been reluctant to behave normally and run distances longer than five miles. Well, yesterday I was feeling pretty confident.

I was running along the path by the Rappahannock, my absolutely favorite spot to run. In the spring, the trail is covered in bluebells, in the summer it’s lush and green, in the fall it’s like running through a painting. Right now it’s kind of meh, and it’s been raining a lot recently, so parts are flooded. However, yesterday I was determined to get back my mile splits, so I plowed right through.

A biker spooked me, so I decided to run without headphones. Good thing too, because as I rounded a corner, I looked over…

And there was a man running down the hill … completely naked.

Okay, not completely naked. He was wearing a blue baseball hat.

He might have been wearing shoes, but trust me, I had no desire to look below the waist.

It raises the question- What the hell?!?!?

I mean, I know I said it was unreasonably warm, but not that warm, dude.

I decided to turn the other way and hurry back, when he comes my way... only now he’s wearing blue basketball shorts. Still in his stupid blue hat, but shirtless, he comes jogging up like it’s no big deal. Terrified, I ran to the side and waited for him to pass, but as soon as he did, he said, “I’m about to turn around, let me run in front of you.”

Well, anything to keep him away from me, I waved him on. I further let myself be distanced from him and let him run off ahead before continuing.

Then I went to the police.

When I told the campus officer, she cracked up. They sent a squad car to pick me up, and I got to go in my first (and hopefully last) police car ride! When I told the Fredericksburg officer, she tried to keep a straight face, but when she asked me, “Was he standing? Hiding?” and I said he was running, like, actually just going out for a jog down the hill, she lost it.

But think about it: he must have stashed his shorts nearby, because it didn’t take that long for him to put them on and then pass me… So, did he just really want to run down the hill naked? Like… who does that? In the middle of the day, too?? And it’s not like I was the only person on the path! Like, there is no way that he could have thought he wouldn’t be seen running down a gravel path in the middle of a populated park.

He looked like a normal guy too. He was probably in his late 40s, early 50s, so I highly doubt this was a stupid dare or something. He was clean shaven (cough, everywhere, cough), looked healthy and lean. He wasn’t rude to me, in fact when he spoke to me he was polite enough. He didn’t make any sexual motions or make any noises… he just seemed to want to enjoy nature. A bit too much.

This apparently isn’t the first time there has been a naked guy on the path. Erin’s coach had also seen a naked guy on the path, who claimed he had been going to the bathroom. Also, if you Google search Police reports of Fredericksburg and Stafford, there’s quite a few incidents of naked men walking about. And I am not recommending you do an image search.

This is pulled from the police report. Red arrows show incidents of Indecent Exposure since 2009



Anyway, I now have all the right to respect my Mom’s persistence to the fact that I need a running partner, or at least to run with my phone. Guess what guys- Mom’s have reason for their worrying. Who knows when a naked man is going to decide to go for a jog? One thing’s for sure- that path will never hold the same sense of beauty.

Also, I defiantly ran sub-8 minute miles.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Nerd Hymn

For my creative writing class, my teacher is having us write fixed form poems. Here is mine.


Nerd Hymn

I wish there was a way to Mars
that’s didn’t cost so much.
I would fly away, go so far
And never get back in touch.

Once water flowed on Mar’s skin
And now it runs all dry
With an atmosphere 150 times more thin
us humans could not survive.

I’m not saying I’m unscientific
but I wish that I could find
That there’s a life kind, albeit horrific,
with a highly master mind.

One day we’ll bomb the Martians land
to create an atmosphere,
but until then I’m stuck with man
and hating life while I’m here.



Yes, I am twenty years old.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Easy As Pie… Or why I should never be allowed in the kitchen.

Well, tomorrow is my boyfriend’s birthday. Yes, this is the first time I’ve mentioned him, and yes, I am proud of that fact. Anyway, on Friday, I excitedly mentioned that I would try and make him some special desert.

Only then did I filled my boyfriend in on the fact that I can’t bake.

“But Julie, you’re a girl”
Yeah? Have you read my blog before?!?!? No? Then read this, jerkface. (he didn’t actually say that, he said he had eaten my Moms apple crisp that I told him was mine and he said he liked it. That, too, is a joke. I only did that once. Then, I actually DID make an apple crisp all by myself, and he liked that one too.)

What happens when I try to bake: I get EXTREME A.D.D. Like, I have absolutely zero concentration issues anywhere but the kitchen. And it’s not even a problem when I’m cooking, like, food, and by this I mean that I CAN cook (hellloo ladies), but give me a recipe for brownies or cake and I will guarantee find one way to mess it up.

So, I offered to make him a pie. I mean, pies are fairly easy. I made six pies in two days for the Fourth of July last summer, and had almost no issues with those (or not so anyone will tell you… because they were all poisoned TO DEATH).

I think that pie, especially cherry pie, is one of those pies for the true noviece. All you need to do is make the pie crust, and fill it from the can. Then, maybe add some lattice. Poof, pie-tastic. That was the worse pun I have EVER made.

So, I made a cherry pie. Well, heres a picture of how THAT turned out.


umm, so i realize that the picture doesn't show a lot of the pie. That's because i tilted it so my webcam could get a picture, and then things started to slide out... not my brightest moment. On the plus side, I now how cherry all over my sweatshirt which gives me an excuse to wash it. Or not, and have a snack during class.

Heres what i used for my pie:

Apparently, not only can I bake, i should also take up a career as a photographer. I know.
Please note the three cans of cherries.

And how one of them aren’t even pie cherries. I mean, their all cherries, so what’s the difference going to be when it comes out of the oven? See, it's reasoning like this that should send up red flags.

BELIEVE ME YET MIKE? NO? WELL, KEEP READING BIRTHDAY BOY.

So, pie crust.

Granted, pie crust is a tricky for everyone. Okay, maybe not Bree Vandicamp or Martha Stewart, but, whatever. ITS HARD, OKAY?

So, it’s a delicate balance between adding too much water and too little water. One will make your crust crumble. One will make it stick and rip on everything. Don’t ask me what’s the perfect amount of water, because my pie crusts always find a way to be both crumbly AND ridiculously tear-y.

So, this time, I made a huge ball of slightly-watery crust, and then I threw it in the air until it calmed itself down. Then, it got rolled, kinda, and then it went into the pan to be spread with abuse. Like, punches, and pinches, and normal red-flag society stuff. Not pretty.

Well, after crust had been laid, pie fillings added, it was popped in the oven. For half the time that it said on the can, because the can didn’t account for the fact that I would spill some filling all over the crust/outside and lick it off, so it only really cooked for about twenty five minutes.

Ahem. Here it is:


and here's his slightly less-deformed cousin, who was made so that Mom wouldn't find out that I used her cooking materials for Mike, i mean, HI MOM HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS NOT UGLY PIE I MADE JUST FOR YOU!!



So, Happy Birthday?
Maybe next year I'll just buy one at Giant and pretend I made it. "I ever made fake price stickers and everything, heh heh."

Just kidding. Really, Happy Birthday Bro.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Proof my lab partners don't give a damn about anything.

I wrote this introduction, because the kid who was supposed to write the introduction DIDN'T, and then I emailed it out to my group.
And got no response.


"Ever wonder what happens if you sit a bath that’s too hot? Neither have I, but for the sake of this experiment, pretend with me. A bath, quite frankly, would not be hot enough, so let’s image that it’s a cold, snowy night and your sitting in the backyard in a bikini or whatever it is you wear, you could be naked, I don’t really care, the point is, your warm, because you’re rich and can afford a fancy hot tub. And you want to be warmer, because nothing is ever good enough for you, because youre a princess too (I mean, why not, we are imagining here.) Well, your servant tells you he cant afford to turn up the heat because it's dangerous, and your like, WHATEVER SERVANT and you do it anyway. Then you die. Why?

Your death is due to denaturation of your enzymes. Denaturation a permanently changing the 3D shape of your enzymes, which are vital to your life. Once your enzymes denature, they cannot be put back together. Think of a cooked egg. The protein of the egg becomes changed when you cook it, and if you leave it on a plate, it doesn’t change back. That would be creepy. "


I think i might just leave it in there and turn it in like this. I mean, she said to catch our attention, and you have to admit, its catchy.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

"...If I take one more step, it will the farthest I have ever run."

"Oh, Sam."

Sunday was the day I was waiting for.... my entire life. It was unbelievably amazing. Like, if I was given the opportunity to run a marathon every month for the rest of my life and not have to go to school/get a job, I would totally hit that opportunity up.

The best part of the Marathon was having all my friends close by.
Having Christine there made the event infinity times better. Then, my best friends from Mary Wash came and cheered.


Stella was there too!! She was doin' some quality studying at the time this gross picture of me was taken.

Also, Christine's mom and aunt were there to cheer and make a big fuss over us at the finish. My mom came too, but I never saw her on my run, just at the end.

I didn't think that i would like a large group of people (42000 of them), but It actually made it really entertaining and worthwhile. There were SO MANY FANS. SO MANY POSTERS. SO MUCH SAS.

The best posters were:
"A day may come when you can not run anymore... but it is NOT THIS DAY."
and
which is from HERE in case you aren't sold on the awesomeness of it all.

Next marathon (I am defs doing more) I'm going to get one of those super serious "I run for..." that people wear on their backs, and write FOR GONDOR!!!

Other thoughts that ran (hahahahhaaa) through my head:
1. I can't have already run 5 miles?
2. OOOOH, FREE CANDY!!!!
3. Why, hello there sexy Marine man and glass of water
4. This goo tastes like puddin' (it was SO YUMMY. it was a vanilla cliff shot, in case anyone wants to try it)
5. SO MANY BIBLE VERSES.
5 1/2. hahaha, wouldn't it be ironic if Phillippians 4:13 was actually bible verse Phillippians 26:2
6. I LOVE TWIZZLERS!!!
7. Someone smells good. Something is very wrong in this situation.
8. AHH MY FOOT IS METAPHORICALLY ON FIRE.
9. hahahaa, they would hire a banjo player to encourage people to run faster
10. I am so dominating in man points right now, Mike.
11. Maybe I should get a nerdy tattoo too. Maybe the crest of Gondor? ---> this led to an hour long sequence of me re-playing my favorite scenes for LOTR over and over again.
12. Never seen so many men peeing in bushes in my entire life
13. the new MLK statue is pretty fantastic
14 AHH MY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
15. oooo, jolly ranchers!!!
15 1/2. Will run marathons for food.
16. Sorry, I'm thinking about cats again.
17. Yeah, only 7 miles to go!!!!!!!!! BRING IT ON BRIDGE.
18. I want to jump around and bang on drums...
19. NA, NANANANANANANAAA, KATAMARI DAMACY
20. I refuse to let a penguin beat me.
21. "It's nice to beet you!!" "Thats a raddish!!!!"
21. WHO GAVE THIS COLLEGE KID PERMISSION TO HIDE AMONG THE WATER GIVERS AND HAND ME BEER??
22. eating pretzals = worst idea for a food to hand out.
23. Wait. If this is only 26.2 miles, and I'm on mile 25, why can't I see the finish?
24. WAIT. THIS IS A HILL.
24 1/2. DOMINATE ALL THE HILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
25. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHcatsHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

So yeah, that was it in a nutshell. I hope you noticed the increasing amount of capitalization and exclamation points. also, theres a hidden word in number 25. Its not very hidden.

I realized I never said my stats, so here goes:
4 HOURS, 5 MINUTES, 52 SECONDS.

guess whose faster than P. Diddle?? AND Oprah.


I pass the line at 4:26 if you want to watch my not-so-epic finish. I'm on the far side by the Marines and the clock. It says the "official" time at exactly 4 hours and 14 minutes, which is when the gun went off, but that's not accurate because there were so many people that I didn't actually cross the start line for eightish minutes haahahaha.I'm behind some guy wearing a bright blue shirt who lifts up his hands victoriously, in case you don't enjoy playing Where's Waldo.

You can see my photos by clicking HERE and searching for Julia Randall. They're pretty hilarious.

Also, I got a winter job at Build A Bear workshop! Life is so great!!

Monday, October 31, 2011

"Julie, you never update your blog.."

Yeah, well, I'm busy!!

That being said, there will a blog post tomorrow (i promise!) about my marathon yesterday. So, if you want to read about running, check back tomorrow and I'll try to make it interesting for your sake.

See everyone tomorrow!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Monday, August 1, 2011

Gone forever. (not really. tricked you! myahahaha)

I'm going out with my girls for the week, so if you were planning on calling me up to go bungee jumping or something, I'm sorry, but I'm out of town. Next week, maybe.

Here's some bad comics to get you through your week without Julie:
disclaimer: best when read at 3 a.m. Preferably, also when drunk/tired/high/on a coffee high. Also part of this disclaimer- I can draw much better (like a freakin' Leonardo). I can also draw worse.




Some going-on's from last week:
- NEW PATRICK WOLF!!!! His album, Lupercalia, is like being a seduced by Nessie. Trust me.
-Butt slasher?!? Thank god i never actually turned in my application to work at Forever 21.
- watched ROBOCOP with Will. I want to be reinforced with steel. This is not a new desire, thanks to Will Smith and that one movie with aliens (specific) where i dug my nails into Conrad's leg because I was so scared and left a scar.
- I ran into a post when I was running and got a mark on my shoulder that looks like a hickey. My Dad asked about it; I told him guys are just crazy for my gunz.
- I got some clothes from a store other than Unique?!? It was a rare day.
- My cat went snooping through every box in my room. Such a snoop. Snoop cat, if I may. Hahahahaa
- My aunt and cousin came to visit. We saw Casablanca at Wolftrap. It makes me wish that it WAS jacket weather, just so I could be wooed by some guy in a trench. (trench coat. Just to clarify. I'm not big on Immersion foot disease.
- i got a coffee pot for my desk at college. Going to be a crazy year at college, getting drunk (on coffee) ALL THE TIME. Mix that with staying up all night to watch Gone with the Wind, and you might say I'm out of control.


And, lastly, a joke for you herbology majors.



Fin.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Harry Potter? Lemon Sherbet!

*this post contains so many spoilers that if you were planning on reading any of the Harry Potter novels than you should probably just close the entire window.*


I’m so excited about tomorrow! The Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, part 2, comes out at midnight, which means that work tomorrow is going to be a monstrous affair of time moving epically slow. I’m going to see it at AMC with Christine, and we’re dressing up (House elves forever!).


To prepare myself, I’ve been re-reading the second part of book seven, for the second time this summer. Nerd, I know.

Anyway, re-readingt he second part, and I always come to chapter thirty four, where Harry is apparently just been killed, but isn’t dead because he has a bit of Voldemort in him because Voldemort apparently entered Harry when he tried to kill him the first time as a baby. And then Dumbledore is there and is like, you aren’t dead, because Voldemort made himself using your blood in book four, so really, you two are made of and share the same blood and therefore, him killing you two seconds ago really just killed the bit inside of him that he put there when he was a baby. SO, now Harry is all Harry, and Voldemort is both Harry and Voldemort, which is the bit that doesn’t make any sense to me because wouldn’t that mean that Voldemort also has one of these purgatory times? I guess not, because when he “killed” Harry (just now), he too was affected. I guess that’s their cleansing moment, when they’re no longer connected.

See, it’s so unnecessarily confusing. And although I think I’ve explained it to myself and am content to know that Rowling and I are on the same page now, it only takes me about ten minutes before I’m like, waaait, that doesn’t make ANY sense. Kind of like Donnie Darko.

And then there’s the bit with the wands. Somehow, the Elder wand belongs to Draco, whose randomly the master and NOT Snape, because Snape helped him die. The one, supposedly, who defeated Dumbledore, without ever knowing it, was Draco.

BUT THIS NEVER HAPPENED. EVER.

The Elder Wand somehow recognized Draco as its master, though Draco never knew, and why should he, because he didn’t defeat Dumbledore at all. Like, no. Absolutely not.

And then, of course, Harry disarmed Draco weeks before, and that if the Elder Wand is aware of this fact, Harry is the Wand’s true master.

And I don’t understand this. And it makes me angry.


*Just kidding. It all make's sense now. See, Draco disabled Dumbledore, which apparently is the same as "defeating" him. Also, auto-correct wants me to change Dumbledore to Dumbwaiter.*

I hope for the movie that they try to keep it as close to the book as possible. But this scene… Also, the epilogue. I hope they don’t do the epilogue. For obvious reasons. Of course, it cant be as good as THIS Harry Potter movie.

I feel no shame in saying that I’ve also gone through other pains to prepare for tomorrows movie premiere. Such as reading *gasp* Fan Fiction.

I always thought Fan fiction writers were lazy and otherwise incapable of creating their own characters and backstory, and that their stories would just be, well, bad. I, like many people, have spent life under the view that fan fiction is porn (Harry and Draco slash anyone?) or that it reads like it was written by (and for) middle schoolers.

But today I read an article in TIME magazine where it discussed the misconceptions and ideas surrounding Fan Fiction, and I guess that changed my mind behind the whole premise. It’s kind of cool that these people do so much writing on a subject without ever expecting a penny for their work. It’s cool to think that these people are so devout as fans to a piece of writing that they would give up their valuable time to create more about these fictional characters that were, honestly, someone else’s creation entirely.

I can totally see both sides of the argument, that is, that the writer created the characters and that its almost unethical to let someone else mess with your vision, but the fear that they will change their characters is unnecessary. Fan fiction writers become fan fiction writers because they can love and identify the characters and just never want their story to end.

In a way, it’s the ultimate compliment. You made a character that other people love so much that they never want them to die. In other ways, it’s an insult to a writer, who made the character, which needed the writers to, shall I say, bring them to life.

The piece I read was named “Crossroads”, by Emmyjean. The whole thing is online, and I spent almost five straight hours sitting on the floor reading it (because who needs chairs?). It was about Lily and James Potter, about their relationship that led to their marriage. It was very well done- no grammatical errors, no spelling errors- and the story was almost entirely her own, that is, she used the pieces from Rowlings work to create the story, but it wasn’t as if she didn’t take creative license with it. And best of all, it was really very tasteful and I feel like Rowling would read it and, if not agree with it, at least be touched by the way her characters came to life.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Eulogy for Aniene

The other day was one of the most stressful days I have ever had.

I was prepared to give a Eulogy for one of my closest friends, which it turns out, is a lot harder than they (meaning anyone else) make it look.

What happened was, I spent the entire day before sitting around and not writing down anything, but instead making a rather angsty watercolor.

And then, when it came to be my turn to talk, I just kind of sniffled loudly into the microphone, claimed “sorry, that was gross,” and then burst into tears.

I feel really bad about that.

So, I wanted to make up for my inability to speak, and to share my speech here instead.



When everyone talks and remembers Aniene, they remember the stories she used to tell. There were the particularly grand ones, about her father finding gold and bank robbers, and there were those stories that were almost too good to be true, about her best friends who were made for each other but waited until time and circumstance decided it had waited long enough for them to be together.

And although Aniene’s stories were the highlight of my highschool working career, it was the things outside of her memories that I think we should remember. We should remember the little things she did without needing to tell anyone, without asking or needing to be recognized.

Without having been asked twice, Aniene spent hours of her time to make a quilt for battered children, putting aside her valuable time for people she didn’t even know. Aniene took phone calls at two a.m. and could recognize people she hadn’t talked to for thirty years. She invited people into her house and made them feel at home when they had nowhere else to go.

One of the most amazing things that really sticks with me is the time she let Andrew stay on her couch for a week after he had his wisdom teeth taken out. His parents were gone, his house was empty, so Aniene stepped up, compassionate towards someone who was basically a stranger, and took care of him like a son.

This is the image of Aniene that I will always remember:
She was loving, kind, compassionate, and selfless. She loved to make others happy, to sacrifice her time and resources to see others smile.

Aniene would have found a way to spin this into a story, which would have led into a side story, which would have led to another, further removed story, but the things that she did outside of the time she spent working were just as monumental as the things she shared.

And I feel that, although she's gone, we should never forget her attitude towards others, and that she will continue to live on through her loving example.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Renouncing Girly Ties.

I'm sick of girly things.

I’ve always loved and was slightly jealous of girls who have enough self esteem to wear bright pinks and lacey crap. Also, taking time to do makeup? Or taking time to actually match clothes? Shoes with heels? Girls are just amazing.

I started being more girly after I chopped off all my hair and started to be mistaken for a boy. It never really did feel right, as explained below in my not-really-a-graph-but-this-website-wont-let-me-import-my-fancy-pants-graph-so-this-will-have-to-do .

Age ---- Girlyness (or lack there of)

5. Thought I was a boy

10. Accepting I was a girl, but perfectly capable of beating any boy (or girl) in the mile

15. Told I was pretty, but "probably didn’t realize it” and should, therefore, wear clothes that hadn't, at one point in time, belonged to Eric.

17. Decided it was time to add femininity to my appearance to counteract the short hair

19. Whatever.


I’m just finished with a girly façade. To me, it seems like just too much effort, plus I can’t wear heels without being super paranoid that I’m going to break my ankles and therefore not be able to run. Also, my hair is a longer (yet still ‘lesbian length’), so at least people are clear on my gender.

What this means:
A. No more creepy dolls in my room.

B. I will probably be taken for a lesbian more often/will continue to date closet gays.

C. Everyone else I hang out with will babeify x 9264, making me a necessary accessory for improv nights.

D. I can fill science major stereotypes

Not a long list, seeing as I was only attracted to the idea of girlyness for about a year and wasn't nearly as girly as I could have been.


Other boring news updates:

1. Something got hold of Pippin and now he’s got a nasty scratch running from his eye to his nose.
2. They finished re-doing a sidewalk on my normal running route. I no longer need to run around a group of construction workers. And, the new sidewalk is pretty grand.
3. Finished reading The Lovely Bones. Working in a store that sells dollhouses, I must say that Sebold made an excellent choice of a creepy hobby for her killer.
4. Also finished Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, which may or may not have something to do with my new-found dislike for girly things.

Okay, so I wrote that last week, than was like, ‘nahh im not going to post this for more than a two minute window’ in which Christine somehow found it. And it’s a good thing I didn’t, cause there’s something I want to add.

After I wrote this, I painted my toe nails.

So, I guess I lied?
But if anyone wants a few pairs of heels, let me know.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Oh hai weekend.

Basically just had the best week of my life.

How is that possible, you might ask, when I had previously been through monumental times such as seeing Patrick Wolf, being born, or eating bagels for breakfast (and in that order too)?

First I went camping with Christine and Eric, probably the two greatest people on the planet. We went to the Shenandoah Mountains and hiked Old Rag, where we took eight hours to go up the scramble and down the boring-ish walk past some shelters which, believe it or not, Old Rag himself lives. Although, by now, there are so many generations of Old Rag, and some of them are still Young Rag and Baby Rag, that it isn’t that impressive. We also met this pot-smoking hipster who told me that I wasn’t posing as Jesus correctly, and then began to discuss with his friend how Pho noodles are the epitome of Chinese food. (they’re Vietnamese).

We then sketchily gathered some firewood from Big Meadows, and go attacked by an owl. Falling asleep was easy after the 8.59 miles we had hiked, squeezed, and managed to pull ourselves through, although breakfast of instant coffee (yuck) and instant oatmeal (yuck) was not the best to wake up to. The night before we had a few fake hot dogs and some marshmallows before the campfire went out, because it was so incredibly windy. Even after all our effort to collect firewood in a some-what illegal fashion we still had to use Christine’s little camping stove, which requires ridiculous amounts of pumping gas and holding matches dangerously close to said gas. I even had to rip out pages of Tom Sawyer to get our fire going, but I’m sure Mark Twain would have been proud of that.

Then, after being completely worn out, we went to Dinosaur land. Dinosaur land is pretty much a bunch of old papier-mâché statues of dinosaurs, some more hilarious than others, which are joined by King Kong, a giant Praying Mantis, and a Squid. Although we spent only about 30 minutes in the actual park, I say it was well worth the $5 admission ticket plus gas money. Also, I learned some important historical lessons, such as, "black widow spider is so named because it kills its mate after mating. How foolish can the female get?" Thanks guide book.

THEN I got to go see THE ROOM live action play! THE FIRST ONE… EVER. As director, producer, and lead actor Tommy Wiseau himself said, June 10th will forever be a day written in history books. Then an interview with him and Greg Sestero where I learned that it is always better to give 20% rather than 100%. Oh, and pictures with both of them, handshakes, signatures, and a comment to “enjoy our life.”

Thanks to you Tommy, I will.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

A super long title that has abso-flippin-lutley nothing to do with the blog post yayayayay!!!

So, every time I go out gardening, I’m like, dude, I should blog about this! (cause I’m always calling myself dude). And then I remember that no one in their right mind wants to hear about how I pulled up my moms Black Eyed Susans thinking they were weeds, and left the weeds thinking they were my Moms B lack Eyed Susans. I think I’ll start a band and call it Black Eyed Susans, then we can tour with the Black Eyed Peas, only we can, like, playing bagpipes and conga drums instead of making bad dance songs with people dressed like arrows dancing in the back ground.
So, instead of boring you with gardening stories and going off on tangents about non-related subjects, I am going to give you:
Julie’s list of BEST/WORST THINGS EVER (aka, things that pop into my head from my last week at home).


Best.
1. That little dagger thing that my Grandpop got for my Mom for her birthday. It’s for gardening when you want to be hardcore and only carry one tool around that does the job of every single other gardening tool invented (except the watering can). Basically, it’s my favorite thing this week.


Worst
1. The stupid leaf-streetsweeping truck. Thanks to that stupid tax-money wasting thing, my morning of sleeping in and enjoying the bliss of not having to go to work was ruined by the need to get up and shut the window and jam my head under the pillow because they’re machine is the loudest thing ever and this is a really long sentence which is never going to end weeeeee!
2. But seriously, the street sweeper is not nearly as bad as the construction that was right outside my window for the ENTIRE FLIPPIN YEAR, even during final week, which is supposed to have 24/7 quite hours… and they started before 7a.m., which means that even if you are blessed enough to have 8:00 am classes cancelled, you still get the wake up drone of construction. And it’s not even like their good looking construction guys or anything, which would have been the least thing that UMW could have done to rectify itself for this evilty.


Best
2. UMW is actually the home of the Dismemberment Plan, a band that I’ve been listening to since Eric introduced them to me in Middle School. I’m so proud.


Worst.
3. Even though they came form UMW, I highly doubt that they’ll be having a concert there anytime soon seeing as their too cool for school.


Best
3. I re-read the Hobbit in my spare time. It was so good, and now I’m 10x more pumped for the movie!!!!!!! I think I’ll dress up as a dwarf, or maybe the bear man. That would be pretty cool. I can put on a bear costume, and throw on some armor and stuff over top.
4. Boromir is on Game of Thrones as the main character, sporting his LOTR hair style and everything, which means that I can be totally nerdy AND in touch with current TV shows.



Worst.
4. I don’t think I get HBO and I can’t find it online, so I have to watch clips online and make up my own plot… which is probably a lot more interesting than what is actually happening anyway.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Sacrifice for the King.

Well, It's been a good two weeks before anyone has heard from me, so for all you know I could be dead. This is not likely, as I don't think ghosts are capable/have interest in writing blog posts.

Luckily for all you out there, this is not the case. I’m just so sick of Microsoft Word after having to write a dozen or so essays for final week that I’ve been trying to stay away from it as frequently as possible.

Speaking of final week, I would like to say it went swimmingly. I won’t know for certain for about two weeks or so, but I honestly think I did really well in everything, including math. Surprise!

So, I got out of school officially on Friday. After watching King Kong and swooning over Adrian Brody, I can officially say that what I will miss the most from school is everyone from the dorm. Second comes the newspaper and cherry turnovers, but the coffee here is actually worth drinking, so I think it’s a fair trade. But, honestly, to have some space to do what I want to do is very, very welcome right now.

And I have been doing EXACTLY what I want to do. It’s been fabulous- I’ve only been home four days, yet it feels as if time has stood still, I’ve been so busy and so engaged. Thus far, I’m halfway through The Hobbit, which I’m reading again so I can only be more pumped for the movie (YAY!!!). I’ve also worked a day at the toy store, Once Upon A Time, and got to catch up with my favorite co-workers. I’ve been drawing, playing with Pippin, and gardening too.

I’ve become obsessed with gardening. I guess you can blame it on the beautiful May weather we’ve been having, but I just can’t pull myself away from the great outdoors. Today alone I gardened for close to six hours, doing the garden, digging the weeds (who could ask for more?) The vegetable garden had better thrive this year with the amount of time and effort I put into it…

We planted some catnip already, and I tore off a leaf for pippin after I dragged him outside (he was feeling lazy today for some reason). I crumbled it up and offered it to him, and he started eating it. And rubbing it. Then biting my fingers in demand for more, but of course I didn’t want him to Over Dose. After all, he was already beginning to go loopy and show signs of being on a Kitty High. For example, he started to attack the garden hoe, and after finding out that it wasn’t moving (at all), he laid down in the dirt I had freshly dug up and rolled around. Officially caked in mud, he began to look around, all paranoid, and ran in circles around my legs.

Also, while gardening, I made a new friend! His name is Sméagol, and he’s a little snapping turtle I found while gardening! (I named him Sméagol because when I first found him, I was calling him Precious, and then I found out he was a boy, and Precious just wouldn’t do for his manly stature.) He’s about the size of a small walnut, and in fact I thought he was a walnut when I accidently flipped him upside down. He’s SO CUTE. Anyway, I released him to the wild creek behind my house, so maybe he’ll survive and join Mikey as great kings of the Snapping Turtles. (Mikey’s a snapper that Christine and I found our freshman year of high school).

That said, I hope I didn’t release him to a horde of hungry cats, like Pippin. As everyone should know by now, I adore my baby boy, but sometimes he can be a pain.
For instance, he never comes when he’s called because he’s too busy trying to catch (and sometimes succeeding) baby birds. Also, he likes to play tough, and that means viscous scratching and biting. Also, he likes to get in my dollhouse and rearrange the furniture, sometimes by letting it fall on the floor to forever be lost.

So, today I made a huge sacrifice for my baby. I packaged all my miniatures up, and put them away.

But before I did so, I had to take a final look at my favorite, most radically expensive hobby.
And now for a tour!






These are images of the nursery/bedroom. It’s located in an addition to the house that I got for Christmas a few years back. It’s on top of the shop, which you’ll see below.

I got most of the things in the house from Once Upon A Time, where I’ve worked for the past five years. This room has one of the exceptions from that rule: the baby cradle I got from a toy shop in Ohio, where I stopped with my boss on the way to a miniatures show. The cradle actually rocks back and forth- it has amazing detail painted on it, much like the armchair behind it. These pieces are from a miniature maker called Bespaq. A majority of the furniture pieces I have in the house are made by Bespaq, although a lot of it I got on sale (thank goodness-- as I've said before, dollhouse furniture is expensive!).

Also in this room is my Edward Tulane doll, the dressed rabbit doll who is on the armchair in the back. I got him at the miniature show. I fell in love with him immediately- he looks exactly like I imagined Edward Tulane would, from my favorite book by Kate DiCamllio.

On the wall above the bed are four of my favorite prints, the seasons set, from Belle and Boo. While I certainly couldn’t afford real copies, I’m glad that my dollhouse people could enjoy as much of the artwork as possible.







Next we have the Patisserie. This is below the nursery/bedroom. A lot of the pieces in here were gifts, including the table and chairs (from one of my bosses), the pie table in the back (for my birthday from the store), and one of the display cabinets (for my birthday from Aniene).

I was undecided on what I wanted this store to sell, seeing as I would have to fill these extensive cases with small things. I originally played with the idea of a general store, which gave way to a toy store. After consideration of the amount of cabinet space, however, I went with patisserie. Who knows, maybe I’ll change my mind again and It will change businesses. Then I’ll just be left with a ton of miniature cakes (which always make me hungry).











Next we have the entry way. It’s a bit fancy- pants, a ‘bit’ being an under exaggeration. The blue and white theme, and the entire spark that led to my re-obsession with dollhouses, is from the tall cabinet by the door and the buffet. In fact, the dollhouse couldn’t have mattered to me less, seeing as I was fifteen and “way too old” to play with my dollhouse.
Well, blamo. I saw these pieces and I had to have them, and of course, I had to re-wallpaper a room to match. It was all very “if you give a cat a cookie”- esc.

Note the exquisite harp set. Yeah. That was a Christmas present. A very, very, VERY nice Christmas present from the toy store. The cat bowls in the gold stand just had to come home with me when I saw them in the store. The fire place just kinda found it’s way into the already over-crowded room. In the display case next to the door is a small collection of teapots which my mom got me started on when I first got the kit the dollhouse came in. My mother has an extensive collection, so my dollhouse needed one too. Some of them are from Mom, others I made in art class last year.








The next room is my all time favorite. It’s the only room in the house that I consider to be finished- although I keep finding more stuff to put in it! The black stove is the one of the only original pieces of furniture I kept after the great re-decorating spree of 2008.


The table and the sink are pieces my boss got at a craft show. I absolutely adore these pieces- the old rustic look is so cute with the rest of the room! The corner cabinet I found at a show, the kitchen accessories are from a mixture of locations, including the toy store, mom and dad, and the miniature show. I absolutely love the chicken and the black and white cat reminiscent of Hezzie- not to mention the orange cat breaking into the cabinet in the corner!










These next two rooms are going to be joined into one as soon as I get the funds and the patience to keep Pippin away. The library and the study room, which was originally another bedroom. A lot of these furniture pieces I got for my birthday this past year, when I was making a roombox for a competition in the store. My theme was “Sherlock Holmes’ Office”, and I had the brown chair and piles of liquor bottles everywhere, not to mention the occasional skeleton in the closet (literally).

The bookcases were then painted and re-painted, so now they have a hand-painted fox chase scene on the bottom (compliments of yours truly). The coo-coo clock in the corner was from the show, and the one bookcase that’s actually filled with stuff is the result of many attempts at using alternatives to glue, such as double sided tape and blue stick.




Then we have the bathroom, which is in a too-small room, yet is too small of a set for another room. I just love the wallpaper and the motif across the furniture set. These bathroom pieces were ordered from the show. The handles look like cranes, so that the fountain-head piece comes form the head of the crane, through its long neck. Pretty sweet, yeah? Makes you wish I had a bathroom that was that ridiculously fancy in reality… The prints on the wall are another set from Belle and Boo—I couldn’t resist, their just too cute.




This large room is the sewing room. It’s an awkward shape, with the slope of the roof being really steep. I kind of like it this way, I just wish it was easier finding pieces that would work with these accommodations.

A lot of the furniture from this room was a gift from my favorite/only brother for a wonderful surprise Christmas present. The sewing machine was the other original piece of furniture, which my parents got me long ago, before the house was even finished being built.


And there we have it. The whole she-bang. I’m sure I could continue to describe the minute details which no one wants to hear, but all-in-all, its my grand jewel, and I’m very proud of it. Although it’s a bit empty in places, its going to have to wait until Pippin grows up and looses interest in attacking fragile and expensive things (unlikely to ever happen), not to mention I need to pay for part of my college tuition. Alas, some things are necessary in order to make ends meet.




*i apologize if the set-up is messed up. It's late, I'm tired, (i love you darling!), so I'm just going to worry about it tomorrow.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Room-a-za-loom!


So, today is the last day of classes of the semester.
Then all I have to do is some finals. Yay!
Just some images of the dorm before we leave.

This is the only plant I managed to keep alive. His name is Snuggles. I think he looks kinda like a Pokemon with his little arms sticking out like that. My friend Christian helped me pick him out: It was between him and a flowering plant that I probably would have killed within a week. I guess I just didn't inherit my Mother's green thumb... In fact, I think I almost drowned poor Snuggles once.
On his pot is a fortune cookie that says "Be generous, and the favor will be returned to you within the week". I now know that it doesn't mean to be generous with water...
Our other plants included Meditate, who had an operation by yours truly because Medi pulled a gun on Tate and demanded that the pot wasn't big enough for the two of them. Needless to say, Medi died. Tate's whereabouts are still not known, but he's probably with the A team.
Then we got Oprah Cheese, so-named for reasons I can't even begin to express, who is still growing and whose hair grows faster than Harry Potters.

I bought these bookends for myself for my birthday. Aren't they awesome? They're SO HEAVY, so I may have difficulties setting them up in my room at home. Theyre holding up my new collection of Lord Of the Rings that I got downtown.



So, basically, these are some images of the room where I spent the past nine months. It's my new home, but I've started to take things home. I took these pictures a month ago with my friends camera. Note to self: get a camera.

These are some Kimmi dolls I got from work. Aniene gave me one of them, and I got one that is similar for Erin.



So, I have two take home exams. Both of my English classes, British Romantic Literature and my English Theory class has a take home exam, which means that I have to write essays which could for about 25% of my grade. I'm a bit nervous. And I've been working on my BRL essays for three weeks and am still freaking out.
Otherwise, I have my Geology exam on Monday at noon, a Linguistics exam Tuesday night, and my Math exam on Friday at 8:30. I'm expecting Geology to be a piece of cake, but I'm going to study like crazy (once I have a chance) because I have an 87% in the class and I really want an 'A'.
I have an 83% in my Math class! I'm so happy, although I can make it up to a 87% if I get an 'A' on my final (might happen, who knows).
So, that just leaves Linguistics. Linguistics is kind of an oddball, that is, I have a 93% in the class, but there are so few grades for this class that if I bomb this exam, I may bring my grade dramatically low. Not that I'm planning to bomb this exam, obviously, but there is just SO MUCH CONTENT that I may not be able to keep my grade high.


Anyway, here are some more pictures.
There's Paco, the teddy bear made of alpaca fur my Mom got me for Pittsburgh in attempt to sooth the nasty side affects of my separation from Pippin.
He's in our new-ish reading corner, where we have big fluffy pillows and my snuggie. And books (duh).



Here's our window. We fly like paper get high like planes. Just kidding- we prefer to spend our time making cranes. Over 100 of them, actually. And then we strung them up over our window for a make-shift curtain.
As Eric says, "That's some Martha Stewart sh*t". But we all know that if Martha Stewart did it, they would be smothered in glitter and organized by paper color and beak size.



And my desk + bed combo.
I've always wanted a loft bed, partially because my room at home is the size of a closet and partially because Christine had one, and I always wanted what Christine had.
Anyway, it's like a dream come true.
Fact: I spend an unnatural amount of time sleeping for a college student. I have yet to pull an all-nighter, or even stay up past 2 a.m. And on average, I get 9 hours of sleep a night. You might ask me how I do it, but then I'll just stare at you like you sprouted a lamp from your head and wonder how you could possibly get through the day without sleep.
Note the Beatles poster: It was a Christmas present from Will when I was a sophomore, and although it may be creepy having four giant faces staring at you when you sleep, I kind of like to think that they are making sure Erin doesn't sneak into my bed and draw on my face with Sharpie.

So, yup. Next year, I'll be living in Custis, just (next to) Ball. That's all.

summer-times!

Guess who had NO CLASSES today?

If you guessed me, then you’re a winner. Don’t ask what you win, you just do.
So, today has been a bit of a preview on my summer for me. Basically, wishing I had classes to go to or at least some friends to go downtown with. Alas, I’ve finished all my homework and studied till I’m brain-dead, so now I’m just sitting, eating some delicious salad and listening to Pandora. I didn’t have any song stuck in my head (for the first time, like, EVER), so I’m listening to “Today’s College Indie”. I feel a bit ruffled to have my music tastes be categorized as such, but what can I say? I like what I like. One could argue that it’s a step up from listening to Captain Jack and DDR music.

So, I’m packing up my stuff to go home this weekend. Basically, arguing with myself over whether or not I’ll need certain things in my final week in school, or if I should go ahead and take it home now. Its amazing how much stuff has accumulated in my room through the year. Who knew I had so many clothes? I deceivingly dress like I only have about 3 articles of clothing. Well, all my clothes look pretty much the same. I like what I like.

While I’m looking forward to summer, I’m also very sad that my freshman year is over. While it had its downfalls, it was easily one of the best years of my life. I came into college with relatively low hopes. I’m notoriously bad at making friends, so I was sure that everyone would hate me and I would quickly become ostracized. To my delight, I met the met some of the greatest people, who I’m proud to say I consider my best friends, in the past nine months.

Being apart from home and all that I’m comfortable with has taught me a lot. Basically, whenever I think back on high school, I realize I could have been a lot happier if I hadn’t focused so much of my time and attention to trying to fit in and hanging on to things that I shouldn’t have ever been part of. I realize how much happier I am now that I have friends who like me for who I am, as opposed to seeing all the differences that separate them and me. I also love to be alone. I used to hate it- being alone was terrifying, I hated it. And now, when I’m alone I feel so free. I feel like I can accomplish so much by myself as opposed to needing someone there to help me. I guess I just found out that I’m an invert, which should have been obvious to me from the start.

The other day I went for a run down by the Rappahannock River. It was absolutely beautiful. There were fields and fields of bluebells, just blue as far as the eyes could see. I’m going to miss the trails down here when I go home.

I have some goals and plans for the summer (I worked on them while in Linguistics class):

1. I need to practice my Spanish, because next semester I’m going to be in intensive upper-level Spanish, and I haven’t taken Spanish classes in 3 years.
2. I want to go hiking in the Shenandoah, hopefully once with Christine for a few days so we can hike Old Rag all the way.
3. I want to go on a road trip
4. I would like to work on my painting, maybe make something that I’ll be proud of.
5. I also want to remake the doll I made of Pippin in art last year. Right now, he has a humpback. I want to make him a new body, maybe out of wood, and make him a new suit of clothes.
6. I would like to go to my grandmothers, and maybe learn a few phrases in Slovenian (so I can say something other than curse words and ‘cat’).
7. I didn’t get to go to the beach last year, so maybe this year!
8. I want to go swimming in the Rappahannock, maybe right before the school semester begins, because then it will be warm and wonderful.
9. Horse riding!

This summer will basically be the best summer ever.

Monday, April 11, 2011

I have a drinking problem.

I have a drinking problem.

By that I mean I drink too much coffee. And tea. And water.

Like, if I were on a liquid diet, I probably wouldn’t even notice any difference.

I mean, what can I say? I just feel like liquids are a far superior form of obtaining nutrients than consuming solids.

This wasn’t as big of a deal back in the day before I came to college. I think that coming to college has made me appreciate simplicity in everything that I can get away with simplifying, so being able to get my meals by using a straw to suck up liquid while still laying down and reading is basically the greatest thing ever.
Straws are so cool. They always make me think of the swimming lessons I had when I was little, where we were learning to control our breathing to keep from inhaling buckets (or pails) of water. That’s pretty much the only thing I remember from those classes; Just chillin’ on the stairs, sittin’ in the water, breathing through a straw.

Anyway, straws need to be making a comeback, because people think I’m strange for keeping a stash of straws in my drawers and hording them from restaurants and dining halls.

Another weird thing ive started doing since I came to college is repeating the last few words anyone says. Like, I’m a radio announcer whos like, “sale starts FRIDAY-Friday-Friday-Friday!!” except its not even interesting or necessary information. Its just random words.

And I didn’t even realize I did it until I was with Eric and he was like, “I’m going to get the roadrunner sandwich” and I was like, “ROADRUNNER!!!!!!!!”. Like, just repeating stuff. Like I’m a parrot. Kinda just cracks me up.

Man, I cannot spell today. I had to try three times to spell “cracks”. Like, I tried throwing an ‘e’ in there, some excessive ‘k’s and ‘c’s.

Oh, so my phone decided to randomly be evil and not work. Like, the outside keypad has been selectively broken by not being able to use the “ok” key, which is like having a hand but no thumbs. Like, you NEED the thumb, or else you might as well just use your mouth to open doors and stuff. Anyway, no OK button, so I cant use the front, but that was okay cause its one of those fancy pants flip-keyboard ones that aren’t so fancy pants anymore but it was fancy pants when I got it two years ago.
Well, yesterday my phone was like, “HAHA, IM GOING TO BE BLACK ON THE INSIDE, BUT GIVE YOU SECOND VIEWS OF YOUR REAL SCREEN SO YOU KNOW THAT YOU WORK, BUT THE I’M JUST BEING DIFFICULT MYAHAHAAA.” And then I’m all like, geez phone, you big jerk, I want to be able to make calls, and it’s all like, NEVER!

So, the take away message is that I can’t text/make calls, but I CAN receive calls. Oh, and I can get texts, but can only read the first two words before the screen decides to go black and be evil again.

So, basically, if you want to get in touch with me you either call me or send me a telepathic message. No promises I’ll get either, because my phone is obviously possessed, and my telepathy broadband is currently being used to stalk Adrien Brody.


Just kidding, he’s a bit old for me... and apparently part cat?!? AWESOME.
*My photoshop/paint skillz are amazing, I know. You can hire me for weddings and stuff. I can put little kitty ears on all your guests and everything. Yes, this should reach Mason ASAP in case he's interested*


Oh, for those who care about my half marathon, I ran it in 2 hours, 5 minutes and 9 seconds! It was super awesome! A special thanks to Eric for being amazing and driving and cheering and just being awesome in general, another thanks to Stella and her family for letting us stay and attack the chicks (SO CUTE), and, last but not least, to Christine for suggesting it and running with me. BEST RUN EVER. And it’s all because of you guys.

*disclaimer: I was kidding.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Happy Day!!!

Apparently, I’m so freakishly happy that I frightened my lab partner, Chris, when I came into lab this morning.

“You seem happy. Well, happier than normal. Which is saying something.”

I smiled at Chris, my creepy I’m-so-f’n-happy-that-I’m-in-heaven smile which I think just freaked him out even more.

“My brother got into Mary Washington!!!!!”

SMILE.SMILE.SMILE.SMILE.

I’m so excited that I feel like doing cartwheels down the hallways and singing at the top of my voice, all while doing a happy dance and squealing like a little girl-pig hybrid.

What can I say? It’s a happy happy day :D
And not only today… Life has been so good to me lately.

For example, the past few runs I’ve been on in preparation for this weekend’s half marathon have been EPIC.

Last week I was running on the path by the Rappohannock river in Fredericksburg, and while I was out I saw this GIANT great blue heron. I got really close to it—like four feet away—before it flew off. It had the largest wingspan ever. And then, on the way back, I heard this crying sound, so I looked up and there were TWO FREAKIN EAGLES.

DOUBLE EAGLES ALL THE WAY.

Like, right above me. Like, I could see their bald heads. They were being all cute and circling each other and doing their little mate calls. Then one would land in the tree and the other would do swoops and dives and it was simply marvelous, darling. I think ive only seen one other wild eagle in my life, and that was from far away while out West with my family. So this was, like,

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

Mind blown.

And then, when I went home and ran on my Accotink trail, there was a GIANT owl who was just chillen in the top of a pine tree, hooting away. And there was a reply, and they were just chattin it up, being all cute and owl-y.

Sigh. Nature just blows my mind.

I’m so in love with nature and sciences. I’ve decided I’m going to do the Environmental Sustainability minor, but right now I’m so sick of my English classes that I’m considering just doing an Environmental Science Major.

I’ve always loved the sciences, but I’ve always had this vain dream of become a famous writer, which would (perhaps?) require an English degree.

I’ve redone my Twitter account, just to appease Eric. I got a few texts from friends yesterday who think I’m psycho.. I feel like Twitter is a very dangerous thing for me, because random thoughts just shoot through my head like arrows, and I feel the need to blurt it out, and I’m used to repressing these urges to scream “I LOVE HONEYSYCLE BODY WASH!!”, but since Twitter is pretty much the most available random thought processor, I’m thinking that I might just have to share every random thought that comes through my head.

Last night, I could sleep (which is very odd, because I’m normally capable of passing out on a dime. Not literally. I’ve actually never tried it, I might try that tonight), so I started thinking about how epic this summer is going to be. I’m going to be hiking with my BFF, and then I thought of alternative meanings of Bff. Like Buffalo Flightless Flamingo. And then I REALLY couldn’t sleep, because the image of the Buffalo flightless flamingo just cracked me up. Like, picture a buffalo… whose pink… who stands on his hind legs all the time…except when it pulls one leg up and nestles it inside of it’s flightless wings…

teeheehee.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Ground Control to Major Tom!!

If I had a time machine and it meant that I could go back and forth and erase all the dumb things I did, I would probably let it rust in the corner. Because I know that if I tried it, I would either wear it out and be stuck in the Black Plague or be transformed into a fly. I WOULD, however, use it to rob a bank. In the Wild West. And I would bring a video camera, for personal film archives of awesome things I do when no one is watching.



In my imagination, I think I fit in the wild west better than anywhere else. Maybe the 1960s, cause I already have the coat and the music taste, but I think the drugs are too much of a turnoff. Plus, I cant rob a bank on horseback if I’m in the 60s, now can i? I would have to have a firebird or something to make up the epicness difference.

*note: i have circled my hands so all of you notice that I am holding a hand gun. Lady like, I know. Not pictured: my huge pile of stolen money and valuables*

I would probably go to the future too, but just to be disappointed because they haven’t created a teleporter or deodorant that also shaves your armpit hair. WHY DOESN’T THIS EXIST? We have the technology to deodorize and rid of hair—lets combine them! Come on inventor people! This is way more important than making a smaller ipad or whatnots—think of all the time it would save it women-kinds morning routine (and think of how much money apple could make with their ideodorant! And while they’re at it, they should make shampoo/conditioner/body wash combo that smells like tomato plants.

New invention that feminists like me (that should be a band name: Feminists Like Me) should be ecstatic about—We no longer have a purpose for men! Women can now take an egg and grow a baby all on their own! Only thing is that it looks just like the Mom, because it’s just the egg. So, it would be like having a mini-me all the time. Kind of cool, kind of creepy.
*disclaimer: I am by no means enforcing that men should be eradicated from our society. On the contrary, if we were to rid of men, I would probably shoot myself. TOO. MUCH. ESTROGEN. *

I would also like to time travel to time after humans. I really want to see nature take over the world again, and watch great man-made creations fall at Mother Natures hand. (MYAHAHAHA. I feel so evil right now.) I would probably not spend very long there, because cat’s would either have to adapt from their cute-adorable state to having actually do stuff like find food on their own instead of meowing loudly and having treats deposited at their feet, or they would go extinct.

It’s so fun to think about life after humans. I think I do it on a daily basis. I would never wear clothes. Never. Instead, I would make clones of myself in a petri dish and we would form a nudist colony (just kidding, there’s no way I’m cutting open my ovaries for the benefit of the human race). I would bathe in rivers and fountains. I would drive everyone’s really nice cars and have entire college campuses for my home. Let’s see- Trinkle would be my bathroom, Virginia my sleeping quarters, Combs would be my library, Jepson my kitchen…

I think I should explain that in my daydream, I’m also invincible and immortal, so I cant be eaten by wild dogs or escaped lions. And it’s not a zombie apocalypse. Nor are there dead bodies all over the place. Everyone else just… disappeared. Like, an alien spaceship came and picked up everyone except me. I’m like wall-e, only I don’t have to pick up trash. I just… do whatever I want and ride camels for fun.

I take it back—I would also go back to the dinosaur days. But I would also be invincible and immortal, so that way I could ride on the backs of raptors like the Bandito from last year’s Relay for Life shirts.WOULDN’T THAT BE AWESOME??

Oh, and the ice age. Actually, every age from the Neogene to the Quaternary, so I can see those creepy anteater-horses and also ride on the backs of Mammoths.

Mammoths are so cute. If I could bring one animal species back to life, it would be the mammoth. Elephants don’t have crap against the mammoth. I mean, their furry, they have little ears (none of that floppy awkward business), epic long tusks, and they are SO BIG. Like, 17 feet tall. And they weigh about eight tons. Oh, no, I’m not a professional researcher on Mammoths, which is what you’re probably thinking, I just really really want one. I remember going to the mammoth pit in South Dakota when I was little on a family trip out west. That was what started my love.

There was also a picture book that I remember loving about a little boy who goes into the snow in his backyard, and there's a mammoth buried in the snow who takes him for a ride around the world. Anyone who knows what that book is and lets me know, you win Julie’s award for awesomeness. WHAT A PRIVILEGE!

I might get lonely, but I talk to myself already, so I think I would survive. I would really miss Eric though, because I would do all these stupid things like fall on my face or start a nuclear winter, and he wouldn’t be there to make fun of me.

I guess I’d miss other people too…

So, everyone is probably wondering what is happening to Julie in the real world since time machines don’t exist. Other than daydreaming and eating two giant bagels, I took a Geology exam, Gave an English presentation, and signed up for classes. NBD.

Fall 2011 is going to be hell. Why, you ask? Because I’m taking 18 credits. And I have Spanish EVERY DAY.

Just shoot me now.

Lol, jk, it won’t be that bad. That’s what I’m telling myself. I’m going through the six stages of grief prematurely, and right now I’m on denial.

Luckily, I have some awesome classes to balance it out with. Like Music Theory! And Women’s Studies! And an English seminar on Post colonial and Gender! And—most importantly—CREATIVE WRITING!!
WHO’S EXCITED? I’M EXCITED!!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

A new Post! With a lot of CAPS AND ITALICS!!!!!

Its raining. I love the rain. Its my element.

Let me rephrase that. I love the rain when I’m inside, or when I’m outside and I don’t have anything to do. I like the rain cause it puts me in the now.
As I lick the yogurt and walnuts off my bagel, I remember the pains I had to go through this morning. Example: having to put my morning bagel in the yogurt because they made the “to go” boxes at the dining hall smaller by about 4 inches. That’s 4 inches of food that I’m not going to consume. Thanks a lot school, I’m actually trying to gain weight, but I guess that means I have to use more of my overly abundant meal swipes, huh?

I feel bad complaining. As well I should, if anyone around here reads the newspaper. Since I last posted on my blog, a earthquake has hit Japan, followed by a tsunami, followed by a power failure at a nuclear power plant. Wow. And I think my life is bad because it’s raining and they ran out of lids at the dining hall so now my rained-watered-down-coffee is running down my arm?

Yeah, I’m overly privileged. So I feel the need to tell everyone that I am the daughter of a hard working family who happens to be in the 10% of the world who has money. I’m someone who thinks my life is hard because I have to write a paper for my British Romantic Literature class, but I’m too distracted because I can’t help rerunning the image of my cat and I playing chase around the house.

I’m still trying to figure out what I’m going to do to make a change, however small. I know what everyone’s thinking, “meh meh meh meh meh, I’m a rich spoiled college kid who wants to make a difference because I don’t know crap about life, meh meh meh meh meh”. For those of you who cant envision that, picture the meh meh mehs coming from the adults in the comic Peanuts.

It’s kind of scary when I find myself proud because I gave up Facebook for Lent and actually haven’t checked it except for on Sundays. I mean, Jesus gave up food and water for forty days, and I give up checking a website. Good work, self.

Anyway, back to what I was trying to say before I interrupted myself with criticism. (Am I the only one who does that? Like, I’ll be walking down the street having a normal conversation with myself (in my head) and I’ll be like, “oh yeah Julie, cause THAT makes sense” and then get into an argument. Like, with different voices and everything.)

RIGHT, back to the rain.

So, now I’m in my dorm room all in dry clothes, bundled up in my snuggie that Christine got me for Christmas (best present EVER), sitting by the heater, listening to the two Animal Collective songs that I actually like (out of 40, which just goes to show how many times I’ve heard Bluish since I started writing this), and I can’t help but think that this is heavenly. So many things are wrong with life, and there are so many problems in the world (like my bagels now taste like strawberry yogurt) (you can really tell I’m beat up about this, but I like my bagels UNTAINTED), but at this moment, with the wind blowing in the rain, all is good. All I could use for improvement is a cat. But when don’t I need a cat?


*WOAH guess what I just found out??? SO, you know how you start typing and then you realllly want to emphasize something, like WOAH, so you use all CAPS and then you forget you have them on so it just looks like your yelling, but you really don’t want that because it makes you feel angry and pent up inside, but you cant change it to lower case, so you have to erase it all and start over again? Well, YOU DON’T HAVE TO ANYMORE because word made this feature when you just highlight your text and it turns it into lowercase! GENIUS! *


Of course, this has probably always been around, but I’m pretty slow at these things. For instance, I didn’t know a jackalope was a fictitious animal until my mom had to break the news to me over the summer. As in last summer. As in, I thought that a rabbit with antlers was a real animal for eighteen years of my life. Oh, and I dint know you could towel dry my hair until I was fifteen. I was so excited when I found out. Don’t ask me how I went that long without figuring that out. Just know I’ve already been made fun of it, so no need to comment. Kay, thanks.

Three guesses (first two don’t count) to what I’m listening to NOW. I’ll give you a hint. I was introduced by Christine, who was introduced by Liz, co-introduced by Mr. Hardy in History class. It’s a Metal song… and it has reinforced the historical significance of the date 334 BC….

I got into the Sophmore Year Experience dorm for next year. I have mixed emotions. I’m going to be rooming with my current roommate, the incredible Erin. But, unlike Virginia, this dorm has both girls and boys, which means I can longer just walk around in my underwear. So I’m pretty bummed about that. Also, the hallways are narrower and the ceilings lower, which means I can’t get the same echoing effect when I serenade my hall mates to that song from Babe.

My classes are going swimmingly. I actually passed my math midterm. With an 85%. WHAT THE WHAAAAT? Yeah, I’m surprised and pumped and super proud of myself too. Then I gave a presentation in that class and got a 77%. I’m pretty sure I deserved a 100%, because I was so excited to talk about Sandwich Terns. (I’m not being sarcastic- they are an adorable seabird. They’re also a delicious sandwich, nuck, nuck nuck. (that was supposed to be Curly from the 3 stooges. I’m not sure how you type laughs these days)).

What else… I’m considering doing the Environmental Science minor, which is basically the best idea I’ve had since I decided to tape a picture of Boramir in the bathroom. I love my Geology class, and NO Kai, it’s NOT Rocks for Jocks, it’s actually challenging, but I am winning the nonexistent competition for better grades against both my lab partners. I also figure that I did better on the AP exam for Environmental Science than for any other class, so I might as well give it a shot. Plus, if my novel falls through, I can have something useful on my degree.

Okay. I need to write a paper and make some tea now, so hopefully the burners in the kitchen is working and I’ll write soon!


As long as I’m on a roll of being pitiful, I’m going to plea to everyone who reads my posts. PLEASE FOLLOW ME. (Every time I hear “follow me” I think of the captain jack song, which is just funny business.) I mean it. Make a google account, and hit FOLLOW and then make me feel cool and popular because I have more than 12 people who care about my life (and yes, Christine, I know you are following me twice, so job well done. You win a gold star.) Tell you kids, tell your wife, come check out my blog and maybe then I will post more often and not be so whiny and unimaginative. Oh, and if you’re already following me, job well done. You can make me even happier by making a fake google account and following me again. *Cough, what? Who just said that pitiful statement? Cough cough.* Yeah Sefan, I KNOW YOU'RE NOT READING THIS YET. GET A GOOGLE ACCOUNT ALREADY SEFAN MCGREGOR.